So today is sort of a milestone day. Colin is 4 months old today. I hope I'll have a post devoted just to him later this evening (if I'm not too lazy). But there's another milestone that I just had to blog about. When I got up this morning (the actual getting up), my whole family was in the bed!!!
So I guess 2 nights ago, around 3-something in the morning, Liam came into our room and quietly climbed into the bed next to Jon. I guess he would have stayed, but he started whinging for Green Ghost and so Jon went in to get it and by that time Liam was amping up with energy. Jon ended up sleeping in Liam's bed for about an hour before he came back to our bed. All during this time, I slept right through it all and had no clue. If I had known, I would not have kicked Jon out of bed to be with Liam when the kid woke up at 5:45a. Sorry!
Well, this morning, around 5:30, just as the dawn was breaking through our windows, Liam stood in the door of his room and whined a bit. I sat up sleepily and said, "hey kiddo." Whimper whimper "momma," whimper. Then I waved him over as my head was dropping stone-like back onto my pillow. The next thing Jon knew, Liam was scrambling over him trying to climb into the bed. He laid down but needed his Green Ghost. Jon grabbed it and wouldn't you know, within seconds Liam was snuggling into the pillow between us. I held his hand so he would know he was safe (he's never slept in our bed before - so um wow!). Boy has some RANK breath! Serious morning breath/stuffy allergy nose stank going on in that kids pie-hole. At one point he sat up and flopped head first toward the foot of the bed, promptly putting his knees in my chin and feet in Jon's face. I just sat up, grabbed him, and re-righted his little bones back onto the pillow.
At 7a, Colin woke up and wanted his breakfast. It's typical for me to take him back into the bed to nurse him in the morning and sometimes I even get to leave him in the bed with Jon because our new mattress has a sleep spell on my infant when his belly's full. Well I wouldn't leave him this morning with the squirmy preschooler in the bed (he's hard enough to wrangle carefully away from Colin when awake). But as Colin was finishing feeding, I realized my sweet, sleepy family was all in the bed in the morning light. It's not so bad when it's summertime and there's nowhere for us to go/be. We even had one of the cats in the bed. So really truly, almost my entire family was in the bed (Lily isn't exactly allowed on the bed as that's Poppy's territory - oh well). It was a sweet and special milestone. I did get up and change Colin's diaper (which he loves btw) and as he and I were leaving the room, I heard a squeak, so high and loud, I would have thought I had stepped on a toy. But it was Colin, looking at his daddy and big brother, making the coolest exclamation of joy I've ever heard. I'm shocked the bigger boys didn't wake up.
:)
Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
blogging what the heart wants
Don't blame the exhaustion from pregnancy or trying to put on my medieval faire at school. I haven't been blogging a lot because . . . well frankly, Jon and I are going through a really rough patch right now and I find it best not to write down my frustrations. "Why?" you ask. "Don't you think writing it down could be therapeutic or something?" The fact of that matter is I'm not totally sure who reads my blog. I mean, I know my followers that are listed, but he might be popping in once in awhile or there might be members of his family checking in for pregnancy updates. Not that I would be saying anything super defamatory or outrageous about my husband. But you understand how things can be taken out of context.
I've tried getting myself and us some counseling, but things didn't stick for long. I am truly tired when I come home at night. I just don't feel good about life in general right now. And all these bad feelings I've only been able to share with a couple of people (most recently my dad). The biggest thing is . . . I'm waiting for a moment to talk with him about my feelings. Really TALK with him. But it's definitely impossible when I am so angry inside because all he does is play stupid games on his cell phone all day.
Well, I should stop right now because I'm starting to get upset and frustrated again. And honestly, this has been a terrible day with a toddler who's done nothing but scream and yell and throw and cry and try to kick and destroy since 3:30pm and as soon as he managed to get some dinner into him, he amped right back up again. I will admit to spending about 20 minutes lying in my bed under the covers while my child screamed and ranted unattended (because Jon had gone to get frozen vegetables for dinner that he forgot earlier today).
I am being really honest and serious right now . . . I truly don't know if I can have another baby added into this mess and come out of it alive/strong. I foresee my near future being pretty close to catastrophe. I don't think I can do this!!! And I'm also not sure I want to either.
I've tried getting myself and us some counseling, but things didn't stick for long. I am truly tired when I come home at night. I just don't feel good about life in general right now. And all these bad feelings I've only been able to share with a couple of people (most recently my dad). The biggest thing is . . . I'm waiting for a moment to talk with him about my feelings. Really TALK with him. But it's definitely impossible when I am so angry inside because all he does is play stupid games on his cell phone all day.
Well, I should stop right now because I'm starting to get upset and frustrated again. And honestly, this has been a terrible day with a toddler who's done nothing but scream and yell and throw and cry and try to kick and destroy since 3:30pm and as soon as he managed to get some dinner into him, he amped right back up again. I will admit to spending about 20 minutes lying in my bed under the covers while my child screamed and ranted unattended (because Jon had gone to get frozen vegetables for dinner that he forgot earlier today).
I am being really honest and serious right now . . . I truly don't know if I can have another baby added into this mess and come out of it alive/strong. I foresee my near future being pretty close to catastrophe. I don't think I can do this!!! And I'm also not sure I want to either.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day 2011
Earlier this week, my husband told me we were almost broke for the month again. Only $500 for the next 2 weeks. Ugh, this is not working right. Technically we have another $200 in savings but I don't want to use it :( So last night, right after putting Liam to bed, I told him "please don't get me anything for Valentine's Day."
There's a story to this . . . I've been watching Food Network all weekend and craving cupcakes. He had asked me if I wanted cupcakes for Valentine's Day. I thought this meant he was going to drive down to Davis to a bakery near our pediatrician that sells no-sugar-added cupcakes. Well that would be fantastic, but they're expensive, and then you add gas/mileage, and getting the toddler installed into the car on our first rainy day in 3 weeks . . . just not worth the effort.
So I get the look that says "is this a wife-trap?" No, I really don't want anything. We don't have the money, sweetheart. And I really don't want anything. It's just not feasible this year. Maybe some day in the future when we disposable income again. Then we can afford babysitters and going out for dinner and goodies for the boys.
At school today, I realize I had my first truly uncomfortable with pregnancy moment during this pregnancy. Baby B was riding high in my rib cage all day long. I was doing a lot of standing, writing stuff on the board because my overhead projector is on the bust. In between I would sit on my stool (yeah, great for my back -NOT). I got dizzy a couple times. This happened on Friday last week too. Even by dinner time, he was still so high in my abdomen that I had to eat in the recliner and sitting up to cut my chicken was miserable. Then he started some major rolling back and forth, which although created an interesting belly roll from the outside, felt crazy mean on the inside. Ugh, thanks a lot little one.
Also at school today . . . I see my principal walking up to my block of classes with a big long box under his arm. When he starts to come in my room, I first think "what the heck, I didn't order anything" then my little heart flutters because the box is a perfect shape for a roll-up map!!! How sad and pathetic; I thought I was getting a surprise map for my classroom. Then when I look at the box, I realize it's flowers. I've NEVER gotten flowers at work from anyone (well, if you don't count the ones my kids steal off the rosebushes and give to me). After finishing the class work (St. Francis of Assisi Baby!), I open it to the delight of my 6th period students. A fuchsia phalaenopsis orchid is inside. Awwwwww. I love orchids! I wish I'd gotten a pic, but all I had was my phone camera which isn't all that great.
Thank you sweetheart... that was a nice gesture, especially because I know things haven't been too easy between us recently. I am luvd!
There's a story to this . . . I've been watching Food Network all weekend and craving cupcakes. He had asked me if I wanted cupcakes for Valentine's Day. I thought this meant he was going to drive down to Davis to a bakery near our pediatrician that sells no-sugar-added cupcakes. Well that would be fantastic, but they're expensive, and then you add gas/mileage, and getting the toddler installed into the car on our first rainy day in 3 weeks . . . just not worth the effort.
So I get the look that says "is this a wife-trap?" No, I really don't want anything. We don't have the money, sweetheart. And I really don't want anything. It's just not feasible this year. Maybe some day in the future when we disposable income again. Then we can afford babysitters and going out for dinner and goodies for the boys.
At school today, I realize I had my first truly uncomfortable with pregnancy moment during this pregnancy. Baby B was riding high in my rib cage all day long. I was doing a lot of standing, writing stuff on the board because my overhead projector is on the bust. In between I would sit on my stool (yeah, great for my back -NOT). I got dizzy a couple times. This happened on Friday last week too. Even by dinner time, he was still so high in my abdomen that I had to eat in the recliner and sitting up to cut my chicken was miserable. Then he started some major rolling back and forth, which although created an interesting belly roll from the outside, felt crazy mean on the inside. Ugh, thanks a lot little one.
Also at school today . . . I see my principal walking up to my block of classes with a big long box under his arm. When he starts to come in my room, I first think "what the heck, I didn't order anything" then my little heart flutters because the box is a perfect shape for a roll-up map!!! How sad and pathetic; I thought I was getting a surprise map for my classroom. Then when I look at the box, I realize it's flowers. I've NEVER gotten flowers at work from anyone (well, if you don't count the ones my kids steal off the rosebushes and give to me). After finishing the class work (St. Francis of Assisi Baby!), I open it to the delight of my 6th period students. A fuchsia phalaenopsis orchid is inside. Awwwwww. I love orchids! I wish I'd gotten a pic, but all I had was my phone camera which isn't all that great.
Thank you sweetheart... that was a nice gesture, especially because I know things haven't been too easy between us recently. I am luvd!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
morton salt (when it rains . . .)
Today my day began at 4:15. . .
Liam woke up in a crazy mood and Jon went in to calm him but didn't stay in there long. Consequently, Liam woke up shouting for us. This time Jon was angry so he went in and scolded our son who then screamed for 20 minutes. So at 4:45 I got up with him. After rocking and going out to the living room couch, he finally calmed down enough and I was frankly shocked that he went to sleep again. I actually heard the alarm in my room when I put Liam down, so I just stayed up and made sure to have an extra cup of coffee.
I look like crap. I felt so unattractive today (not that I'm trying to impress the 12 year old boys). My belly really popped last week and it's getting so much colder. But none of my sweaters are long enough to cover my belly. My work maternity shirts are all hotter weather shirts. I felt too casual and frankly I thought I looked worn out and frumpish. If I hadn't been taking my zoloft regularly, I might have dissolved into a puddle of tears when I had to change my pants last minute because I wasn't wearing a belly-panel pair and my naked belly kept peaking out. Alas, there is no money for buying maternity sweaters or blouses or slacks. And Christmas is too far away (in my whirlpool of sorrow). I actually had to wear a dress shirt of Jon's and looked like I was wearing a white tent.
I planned to take my popcorn popper because I had 4 classes who had earned some free time for scoring well on the 100 Facts Quiz. I took the whole she-bang. Popper, oil, salt, mortar & pestle. When I got to school, I realized I forgot the actual popcorn!!! MF! I also rode in the carpool today so I didn't have a car to run to the grocery before school started.
My students are so lucky they didn't try my patience because some heads would have rolled. As it was, they were pretty good today.
I got home and my hubby made some comfort food for me, but Liam (who had not napped all day) chose 10 minutes after I got home to throw his first tantrum of the whole damn day. Bless Jon's heart, he made tollhouse cookies and even made me a half-dozen without chocolate chips.
I took Liam into the shower which was a great chance to try to wash this awful day away. Liam threw a fit getting out.
When I was reading a book to Liam tonight, he was yawning so much we only got through one book (he chose Cinderella and said "pwincess" when I asked him who she was). But rocking wasn't getting him to sleep; Jon came in to ask him if it was time for going to bed. One second he was playing with his blanket, I hugged him closer and got a kiss, he said "nye nye" to me. I tried to get an "Ifuffyou" [i love you] out of him but that next moment he was passed out. Seriously, we were both shocked. Jon put him in the crib, we snuck out, and
. . . that (+ a cookie) made my day better.
:)
Liam woke up in a crazy mood and Jon went in to calm him but didn't stay in there long. Consequently, Liam woke up shouting for us. This time Jon was angry so he went in and scolded our son who then screamed for 20 minutes. So at 4:45 I got up with him. After rocking and going out to the living room couch, he finally calmed down enough and I was frankly shocked that he went to sleep again. I actually heard the alarm in my room when I put Liam down, so I just stayed up and made sure to have an extra cup of coffee.
I look like crap. I felt so unattractive today (not that I'm trying to impress the 12 year old boys). My belly really popped last week and it's getting so much colder. But none of my sweaters are long enough to cover my belly. My work maternity shirts are all hotter weather shirts. I felt too casual and frankly I thought I looked worn out and frumpish. If I hadn't been taking my zoloft regularly, I might have dissolved into a puddle of tears when I had to change my pants last minute because I wasn't wearing a belly-panel pair and my naked belly kept peaking out. Alas, there is no money for buying maternity sweaters or blouses or slacks. And Christmas is too far away (in my whirlpool of sorrow). I actually had to wear a dress shirt of Jon's and looked like I was wearing a white tent.
I planned to take my popcorn popper because I had 4 classes who had earned some free time for scoring well on the 100 Facts Quiz. I took the whole she-bang. Popper, oil, salt, mortar & pestle. When I got to school, I realized I forgot the actual popcorn!!! MF! I also rode in the carpool today so I didn't have a car to run to the grocery before school started.
My students are so lucky they didn't try my patience because some heads would have rolled. As it was, they were pretty good today.
I got home and my hubby made some comfort food for me, but Liam (who had not napped all day) chose 10 minutes after I got home to throw his first tantrum of the whole damn day. Bless Jon's heart, he made tollhouse cookies and even made me a half-dozen without chocolate chips.
I took Liam into the shower which was a great chance to try to wash this awful day away. Liam threw a fit getting out.
When I was reading a book to Liam tonight, he was yawning so much we only got through one book (he chose Cinderella and said "pwincess" when I asked him who she was). But rocking wasn't getting him to sleep; Jon came in to ask him if it was time for going to bed. One second he was playing with his blanket, I hugged him closer and got a kiss, he said "nye nye" to me. I tried to get an "Ifuffyou" [i love you] out of him but that next moment he was passed out. Seriously, we were both shocked. Jon put him in the crib, we snuck out, and
. . . that (+ a cookie) made my day better.
:)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
DnD widow
Today I got a chance to sleep in a little. Woke up about 2 whole minutes before I heard the little guy yelling to be let outta his crib. My fasting blood sugars have been a little high, but I know it's because I haven't been having my snacks in the evening. But I'm getting used to protein shakes for breakfast.
My mom called today to let me know she was going Christmas shopping and check on the size of appliances we'd like for our gifts. There was a small holiday get together going on down the street complete with firetruck and 15 y/o's death metal band. Then my hubster left me for his DnD game. I'm a widow once again.
So Liam had a protein heavy lunch and then went down for his nap. I don't exactly know when since he was doing gymnastics in his crib. I spent the time doing more searching for Christmas and holiday related crafts appropriate for toddlers. I have come to a couple of decisions: I do not care about glue or glitter, but I do feel uncomfortably about paint projects; we also don't have much money for craft projects :( Also, managed to get 4 loads of laundry done to help keep the scourge of pestilence from spreading. Hot water and bleach on the sheets, blankets, pillow cases, and the bath robes. Liam was so happy when I gave him his Green Ghost all clean and fresh smelling (green ghost is his lovie blanket and we do wash it regularly as he still has leakage problems with his diapers during nights and naps).
We went to the grocery store. I got a freezer lasagna for our dinner (of course Liam ate about 3 bites of it - he still doesn't like noodles very much). He got a bath. I read him Guess How Much I Love You and half of Jack and the Beanstalk. He went down easily. I never got around to finishing the line work for my art project for school. Oh well, I'm pretty beat.
Uneventful day and yet I'm exhausted - go figure. Oh well, Baby B is getting a little stronger and moving more. I'm 22 weeks today and have not a thing to wear. Forgot to weigh myself this morning, so I'll check that tomorrow. Wish I didn't have to work this week (even if it is only 2 days). Won't be getting a shower tonight since the hot water's pretty much been used up. Time for my snack. Then into fresh clean bedding for the night. Ahhhhhhh.
My mom called today to let me know she was going Christmas shopping and check on the size of appliances we'd like for our gifts. There was a small holiday get together going on down the street complete with firetruck and 15 y/o's death metal band. Then my hubster left me for his DnD game. I'm a widow once again.
So Liam had a protein heavy lunch and then went down for his nap. I don't exactly know when since he was doing gymnastics in his crib. I spent the time doing more searching for Christmas and holiday related crafts appropriate for toddlers. I have come to a couple of decisions: I do not care about glue or glitter, but I do feel uncomfortably about paint projects; we also don't have much money for craft projects :( Also, managed to get 4 loads of laundry done to help keep the scourge of pestilence from spreading. Hot water and bleach on the sheets, blankets, pillow cases, and the bath robes. Liam was so happy when I gave him his Green Ghost all clean and fresh smelling (green ghost is his lovie blanket and we do wash it regularly as he still has leakage problems with his diapers during nights and naps).
We went to the grocery store. I got a freezer lasagna for our dinner (of course Liam ate about 3 bites of it - he still doesn't like noodles very much). He got a bath. I read him Guess How Much I Love You and half of Jack and the Beanstalk. He went down easily. I never got around to finishing the line work for my art project for school. Oh well, I'm pretty beat.
Uneventful day and yet I'm exhausted - go figure. Oh well, Baby B is getting a little stronger and moving more. I'm 22 weeks today and have not a thing to wear. Forgot to weigh myself this morning, so I'll check that tomorrow. Wish I didn't have to work this week (even if it is only 2 days). Won't be getting a shower tonight since the hot water's pretty much been used up. Time for my snack. Then into fresh clean bedding for the night. Ahhhhhhh.
we're sick
Compromised Immune System Volume 2:
Okay, the other day, my husband was looking for any out of the ordinary legions on his skin (because of the month of ringworm around here). He found what looked like a little patch of angry pimples on his lower abdomen. The next day, I guess they started hurting because he texts me while I'm at work. He thinks he's got shingles!!! WTF?!
Okay, this makes sense. The spots aren't itching him but he has radiating pain that is travelling around back toward his spine in a line from the patch of bumps to his back. Actually, he says the bumps don't hurt, just the back. He also never had chicken pox as a kid and got them when he was like 21 or 22 years old.
Worry time for me. I'm really susceptible to herpes zoster virus. I've had it twice as a child. My mother had it three times (once as a child and both times I got it). My dad's had chicken pox once as a child and then came down with shingles a couple summers ago. So, my family just doesn't do well with the chicken pox virus. Don't worry about Liam, he's already had the vaccine (lucky kid). But I'm pregnant. I'm only 22 weeks and coming down with shingles in the first 24w can cause congenital defects in the fetus. Also the risk of developing pneumonia is really high. And people with high stress in their lives are more likely to develop shingles. Eek! To tell the truth, I've been swinging between really stressed and really apathetic at work (not to mention I had a total beeyotch of a mom hassling me this week).
So, precautions: Jon is now required to wear a shirt at all times and sleep in a shirt to bed. We will be washing the sheets with 2 wash cycles (and the blankets are getting an extra wash too which may also help with our ringworm prob). Jon and I will be using separate soaps of a few weeks. Hopefully this will clear up quickly and his pain won't last too long.
Okay, the other day, my husband was looking for any out of the ordinary legions on his skin (because of the month of ringworm around here). He found what looked like a little patch of angry pimples on his lower abdomen. The next day, I guess they started hurting because he texts me while I'm at work. He thinks he's got shingles!!! WTF?!
Okay, this makes sense. The spots aren't itching him but he has radiating pain that is travelling around back toward his spine in a line from the patch of bumps to his back. Actually, he says the bumps don't hurt, just the back. He also never had chicken pox as a kid and got them when he was like 21 or 22 years old.
Worry time for me. I'm really susceptible to herpes zoster virus. I've had it twice as a child. My mother had it three times (once as a child and both times I got it). My dad's had chicken pox once as a child and then came down with shingles a couple summers ago. So, my family just doesn't do well with the chicken pox virus. Don't worry about Liam, he's already had the vaccine (lucky kid). But I'm pregnant. I'm only 22 weeks and coming down with shingles in the first 24w can cause congenital defects in the fetus. Also the risk of developing pneumonia is really high. And people with high stress in their lives are more likely to develop shingles. Eek! To tell the truth, I've been swinging between really stressed and really apathetic at work (not to mention I had a total beeyotch of a mom hassling me this week).
So, precautions: Jon is now required to wear a shirt at all times and sleep in a shirt to bed. We will be washing the sheets with 2 wash cycles (and the blankets are getting an extra wash too which may also help with our ringworm prob). Jon and I will be using separate soaps of a few weeks. Hopefully this will clear up quickly and his pain won't last too long.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
plans for prepping
What are you trying to do to prep your body for pregnancy?
I'm trying to drop a few pounds. I gained about 41 during my last pregnancy and lost about 35 of it, but over the course of the last 20 months I've gotten lazy and complacent. I'm back to about 30 lbs over my pre-preggo weight. I got PG almosti mmediately after getting my BMI under 25% last time. Hoping for that again. I'm getting more exercise. I used to be a dancer. I used to be so flexible and lean. Now I'm stiff and my back hurts all the time (from sitting on my rump). I'm trying to walk at least 25 minutes everyday and I've added in a 5 minute stretching routine before bed or waking in the morning. I think it's time to get back to Wii Fit.
I'm going to talk to my doc about anti-depressants before conception. I'm in a bad way; it's a miasma of functional depression. I've lived with depression almost half of my life and pregnancy was the only time I've ever felt "happy" but I take no joy in most things and am so hard on myself that I need to change things soon.
I'm eating better. Cutting out "white" carbs like refined and processed foods, white flour, sugar, etc. Added in a ton of whole grains, protein, and more veggies/salad/fruit. Let me say that so far (two weeks) it's working and I've lost 7 lbs and am not cravings carbs as much as I was 2 weeks ago. Also not eating after 8:30pm so sometimes I end up missing dessert after I put DS to bed. Oh well.
I'm switching to half-caff coffee and am going to limit my coffee to 2 travel mugs max and gradually wean off (hoping to be down to 1 cup by end of school year in 6 weeks). I realized last week I drink sometimes 6-8 cups and usually 3 travel mugs during work week.
I'm cutting my alcohol intake. I also realized I was drinking 2 drinks a night on a regular basis. Limit to 1 and this should also help my carb cutting too.
Getting DH to the doctor was helpful too. He's our SAHD and I don't think DS has gotten the best of care in the recent few months, but he's avoided the doc like a typical man for the last 5 years. DH also has depression and realized he has high cholesterol now. He's gotten on medication for the depression and I've made the diet change affect him too. Good news, he's lost 5 lbs too.
I'm trying to drop a few pounds. I gained about 41 during my last pregnancy and lost about 35 of it, but over the course of the last 20 months I've gotten lazy and complacent. I'm back to about 30 lbs over my pre-preggo weight. I got PG almosti mmediately after getting my BMI under 25% last time. Hoping for that again. I'm getting more exercise. I used to be a dancer. I used to be so flexible and lean. Now I'm stiff and my back hurts all the time (from sitting on my rump). I'm trying to walk at least 25 minutes everyday and I've added in a 5 minute stretching routine before bed or waking in the morning. I think it's time to get back to Wii Fit.
I'm going to talk to my doc about anti-depressants before conception. I'm in a bad way; it's a miasma of functional depression. I've lived with depression almost half of my life and pregnancy was the only time I've ever felt "happy" but I take no joy in most things and am so hard on myself that I need to change things soon.
I'm eating better. Cutting out "white" carbs like refined and processed foods, white flour, sugar, etc. Added in a ton of whole grains, protein, and more veggies/salad/fruit. Let me say that so far (two weeks) it's working and I've lost 7 lbs and am not cravings carbs as much as I was 2 weeks ago. Also not eating after 8:30pm so sometimes I end up missing dessert after I put DS to bed. Oh well.
I'm switching to half-caff coffee and am going to limit my coffee to 2 travel mugs max and gradually wean off (hoping to be down to 1 cup by end of school year in 6 weeks). I realized last week I drink sometimes 6-8 cups and usually 3 travel mugs during work week.
I'm cutting my alcohol intake. I also realized I was drinking 2 drinks a night on a regular basis. Limit to 1 and this should also help my carb cutting too.
Getting DH to the doctor was helpful too. He's our SAHD and I don't think DS has gotten the best of care in the recent few months, but he's avoided the doc like a typical man for the last 5 years. DH also has depression and realized he has high cholesterol now. He's gotten on medication for the depression and I've made the diet change affect him too. Good news, he's lost 5 lbs too.
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