Friday, December 31, 2010

Sick mom

Okay okay. The tummy bug has gone around the house now (well except for the cats, if they start horking all over the house I'm gonna be pissed). Liam was puking all Christmas Day. He's totally fine now and his cough has even gone away except for a few times when he's totally verclemt from dairy.

Jon was feeling better on Wednesday. He was surprised at how quickly he rebounded. I was too. I think it was letting him sleep all alone in the bed. Oh yeah, we ate Carls Jr. on our way back from YC and I had the Superstar (double burger) nom nom nom. But I guess there goes another of our make-ahead meals from the week.

I woke up yesterday full of the blechs. I felt like I had morning sickness all day. Or like I was totally full. I spent a good portion of the day miserable in the recliner; this is awful when you have to turn every few minutes to your side because the back is ailing. I could feel my stomach contents just rumbling over to the other side, gurgling and rolling. I also spent a couple hours in bed, hoping to nap, but just read my book (which isn't bad) A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. I wished I could belch or barf since I knew either would make me feel immensely better. With one burp, I realized it tasted like chocolate which would have been my protein shake breakfast. Okay, so this meant that non of my food was digesting - not like I ate very much at all yesterday - because I had breakfast at 8:30 and that burp was sometime around 3:30. Blarf!

The evening was a bit frustrating. I spent most of my time moaning and groaning and dozing in the recliner. Liam spent the hours vacillating between being the most charming little devil; like when he pulled the camera out and was was saying "CHEESE!" to encourage me take his pic (or when he was singing a song from Yo Gabba Gabba and gibberished the words "babies, babies, ikeruhvaleiurfhaelivufa, babies!"
He did a lot of refusing to stand still.And then we had instant tantrum pouts too. This was a day for toddler frustrations.

Mostly I was totally bummed because I had to cancel out on my friend from work who invited me to a Girls' Night Out celebration. I had been looking forward to this get together for about 2 weeks (even though I couldn't drink, I was certainly gonna participate in dancing, chit-chat, making new friends, and karaoke). Boo for the blarfs!

Around Liam's bedtime, I managed to feel the need for a popsicle. After Jon put the Yam down, he was a dutiful hubby of a pregnant wife and ran to the grocery store. I made sure he didn't get the sugarfree kind since I'd had no calories since breakfast (I sipped sf ginger ale all day). After my first, I felt well enough for a second. I can't decide if it was truly beginning to feel better or if I was rallying. Maybe the sugar was something I desperately needed. Then I felt blarfy again... just wish I could have puked!!! Finally went to bed; this time I got the bed to myself and Jon slept on the couch. Woke up feeling exhausted but my tummy was miraculously better. Took the hottest shower I could stand - it's amazing how icky you get in one day of being sick and still doing nothing.

Liam has been even worse all day when it comes to attitude. He woke up and did nothing but bitch at Jon for 30 minutes. He's been up/down in his emotions all day. Oh well. At least we're ringing out the old year with tantrums and maybe tomorrow and the new year will bring much more happiness.

Good bye 2010!!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sick man

The last two days have been rough. Monday Jon and I got into a huge cooking, make-ahead dinner thing and topped the week's worth of cooking with a beautiful garlicky/rosemary roast beef with sage and browned butter noodles. Oh it was heavenly. We went to bed and I slept poorly; my back and hips are beginning to give in to this pregnancy.

Woke up with Liam around 8:30 on Tuesday. Immediately got a test from my friend saying she was coming over around 10-ish since she was shopping just down the block. She needed her Yam-time. No prob-bob; that gave me plenty of time to pick up the living room a bit (or actually a lot). I heard Jon wake up and head to the bathroom; he was accompanied by the unmistakable sound of vomiting into the toilet. He came out and told me he wasn't feeling well and was going back to bed. Still no problem since I could handle the mess. Instead, I ended up falling back asleep on the recliner for another hour. Woke up with 30 minutes left and hustled to get dressed and started throwing the obviously gross messes away and picking up toys.

She came over (thankfully late so I had some extra time). Liam had a blast showing off his new trains and his drum for her. Jon tried to be social but ended up back in bed. I finally got coffee. We got some chit chat time in. When she left, Liam was obviously hungry and tired and fell into a full pout fueled by attention-withdrawals. Jon got up, tried to take some clear liquids, that failed and he ran off to the toilet. Liam went down for a nap so easily after lunch; he actually fell asleep in my arms while rocking which is a major rarity.

I didn't bother to heat our second pre-made dinner (stuffed eggplants) since I didn't think Jon should even try. Basically he slept all day long. He only drank half of a protein shake before running off again. After calling in my glucose readings for the week, I went in to check on the hubster. My bathroom looked like he was reliving the Chico State days!!! Ugh. Seriously, how do you manage to vomit on three walls, the floor, inside and out of the toilet?! I ended up cleaning up the bathroom while Liam played in the bubbles of his bath. I love love love that he can self-manage in the tub most of the time now; this allows me to read, clean up the bathroom, get laundry started, etc.

Getting Liam down was major drama. I had to read 3 books to him, rock him, go back in to tuck him in again about 15 minutes later. 15 minutes after that I was back in his room rocking him again. He basically wasn't asleep until maybe 9:45. I had to do Jon's yucky chores - cat box and garbage night. It was pouring down rain. That was miserable. I decided to sleep on the couch and let Jon have the bed to himself.

What a mistake!!! First off, I had trouble getting to sleep and read several chapters of my book (usually I'll get 3-5 pages in before I'm out). Then Liam woke up again at 2:30 and needed major rocking before he was fully asleep again. I was falling asleep with him in my arms. I ended up waking up around 8:45 which would have been heavenly except my back and hips were almost too sore to get off the couch. OUCH! Pregnant ladies should NOT sleep on the couch.

Things were so slow today that all three of us napped. Jon, by the way, is feeling much better today and by evening was able to get dinner down. But yeah, slept in, napped for 2 hours, did nothing of importance. I insisted that we take a family outing into Yuba City just so we could go shopping and get out. I was hoping to find some nice fabric to start our new decor for the boys' room (knights/castles theme) and get some things at Target. Found nothing I liked but Liam had a BLAST running around our tiny Jo-Ann's store. At Target we did manage to find a waterproof mattress pad for our next big step with the boy . . . he's getting a big-boy bed some time at the end of the week. I just hope he's able to sleep in this bed instead of jumping and hopping out of it all the time. Oh my, my back hurts today and I'm oh so very tired.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

update - Welcome to Tri 3

Today I'm into trimester 3. Wow, this makes baby "viable" in the outside world (and by that, Baby B would be barely able to have working lungs and would spend at least 3 months in the hospital NICU before going home) so we want him to cook for 13+ more weeks.

I've been measuring a little small based on fundal height but not enough to change my due date. Basically, at about midway through a pregnancy, you can measure the height of your belly from pubic bone to highest point (usually the belly button) and the measurement in centimeters = the number of weeks you are.

Finally got a maternity sweater from my friend at work (and it's in argyle - for the win!!!). I was hoping to get a maternity coat from Hubster or Santa, but I'll check the stores right after Christmas. Luckily I got a nice sized check from my Granny to be spent on things "just for me" and they'll go a large part to maternity tops so I stop looking slobby at work.

27 weeks - 3rd trimester
weight: 201.6 as of yesterday (gain of 1.6lbs)
fundal height: 10 1/8" (or 25 3/4 cm)
waist: 46 1/8" - belly button holding
Baby B: approx 2lbs and 14 1/2" long; kicking like crazy!!! Especially into my diaphragm and kidneys - woohoo!
Possible names: still haven't put much thought into it - I know we're being lazy.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pregnancy update: 25/26 weeks

Yesterday was a loooooong long day. I had trouble sleeping. Then while I was completely awake at 3-something, Liam woke up screaming so I got up with him instead of making Jon do it. He only took 2o minutes to get back to full sleep but I was still totally awake and chose to read. I didn't turn off the light until 4:45 (the alarm goes off at 5:15 ugh). Luckily everything I'm teaching this week is for next quarter when we return in January, so I think "If I screw up teaching about the Norman Invasion of England in 1066, well at least I have time to reteach it." Surprise!!! Get to work at 7:45 and had an IEP (special ed) meeting I'd completely forgotten about.

After school, it's off to the doctor's office. I actually got a coworker to cover 10 minutes of the end of the day so I could leave early. My doc works in Roseville which is about 75 minutes from school if I speed. This time I got to my appt with a few minutes to spare which meant my blood pressure was way down (in November, I sprinted up the two flights of stairs while suffering from a head cold and congestion so I was very winded). No proteins in my pee so pre-eclampsia is still not a worry (not that I was concerned, look at my ankles, they're shapely and Michelangelo would beg to sculpt them in marble). Only 1.5lbs gained from my pre-pregnancy weight. Don't freak out about that now - A) my doctor has never been concerned with my weight gain in either pregnancy because I've never had any major problems (like too much or too fast), B) I started off 20lbs heavier with this one than with Liam and officially in the "overweight BMI category, C) I've been on my diabetic diet the whole pregnancy and have been losing weight all over whilst baby/body/uterus gains.

She chose to increase my anti-depressants a little. (I think they're the cause of my sleep trouble so I'm switching to morning doses). I explained that I understand that they don't work like valium to take my world away on a cloud; they have been taking the immediate edge off of my reaction to things. Unfortunately, I am not seeking out the stressors in my life and I can't avoid the ones that are happening to me - namely things like angry parents or lack of money. But, besides being a union negotiator in the midst of compromising on $250k in stimulus money we got, I'm not choosing stress. Social obligations of the holidays have been especially difficult to (if you read my last whiny post, you understand my feelings). There was no more talk about going on disability, but only because I've only been on the zoloft for 4 weeks. I'll see how things are going when I meet with her/psychologist during break. Speaking of psyche . . . still can't get in to see one; they're so booked (probably the holidays).

Made my doc swear there was only one baby in my belly since I feel huge and ugly and none of my clothes fit. She said, only one - I've had 3 ultrasounds, and I'm measuring about a week behind by fundal height. Baby B's heartbeat was super strong though and very loud. She joked this one might be our athlete.

Got home around 7. Ended up not feeling tired until about almost 11pm. Wha?!!! Didn't I wake up at 3 am?! Wow, who knows why I had that much energy still. Hope to get a belly pic sometime this week.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

It's the thought that counts, right?

Warning: this is a pity party. - Do not read on if you're not open to being sympathetic because I don't need criticism right now.

Money's tight this Christmas. It's been tight all school year. In order to save my job (and 2 other teachers and a couple of classified staff) we all took a 2.73% paycut in the form of 5 furlough days. Honestly it's not that much. But over the summer we all took a devastating blow to our paychecks in the form of health insurance increases. My plan went up almost $200/month and no, there was no way in Hell I was changing my plan because I'm lying to the insurance company about where I live just to keep my HMO; my Ob/Gyn has been my primary care physician since I was 12 and lost my ovary to a 30lb cyst. So what was only gonna be about $110 cut from my monthly check (there went my thoughts of joining a gym) is now $300+. Ouch.

We already had to skip out on a Thanksgiving party we were invited to because we just couldn't afford to drive to Sacramento twice in one weekend (it's a 90minute one-way drive now) and bring a dish to share with a whole housefull of people. We're sorry, was our excuse, but money's tight. No problem, don't worry about food, was the response. But then the follow up reminder emails (mass mail) reminded people that not enough people had offered to bring main dishes and sides. Obviously it was about the food. We skipped it and felt like jerks.

Next Sunday we are supposed to go to a friends' house for a Christmas get-together. This time, the hosts are feeding all (different couple and much closer friends) and we've all been asked to only bring something if we want/can. But the emails went out that we should only bring gifts for the children attending. I sent a text to our friend saying that, although we'd love to bring gifts for the kids, we just can't; and that Liam really doesn't need anything because our families will be giving him enough. We are bringing 1 gift for the hosts' son because it's his 1st birthday (she had him 2 weeks early last year on Christmas Eve, the day after we all gathered at their home for a holiday get-together). She replied that they understood, but since she'd already mentioned it in the email, would it be okay if people still brought gifts for Liam. Well, how should I respond to that? . . .

I broke down into tears over this conundrum. I don't want people bringing us gifts for Liam. I know it's the thought that counts, but our group of friends is not exactly honest about their financial struggles. We are honest with them. But we don't know if the others are struggling; I know one couple certainly isn't struggling, but they're also the type to hold grudges. I feel awful getting gifts for our son and not bringing anything for the other children. But I feel obligated since it already went out in an email (like it was expected that we'd all bring gifts). That's what I was trying to say in my text to the hostess; we just can't afford it. I know I'm being selfish, but I can't even justify going out and buying maternity shirts for myself so that I have tops that fit and I can wear to work without looking like a total slob (all my clothes from my previous pregnancy are summer weather). When I can't justify spending that kind of money on myself and my job, how can people expect us to buy their children gifts?! I'll feel like a total asshole if we go, eat other peoples' food and get gifts for our child without bringing anything with us. But I CAN'T afford it!!! Sure I'm sure we can economize somewhere else in our lives, but not soon enough to buy gifts. Basically I feel like a complete and utter asshole!

Jon sent another text to our hostess to find out exactly how many children would be there and said maybe we could figure out something small for each child. There will be 4 + our Liam. That's like a minimum of $40 - a maternity sweater, a tank of gas, milk and meat for my diabetic diet. I was seriously sobbing over this and I know that my feelings are a combo of pregnancy hormones + depression. I guess my zoloft hasn't quite taken the edge/sting off of things yet. But I feel guilty and selfish and disappointed in myself for not being able to provide enough for my family. I also feel really upset at my friends for being so inconsiderate and making something like gifts for the kids be a social obligation and not just a nice thing to do.

If it's the thought that counts, then my counts are mired in low self-esteem, frustration, stress, and friendlessness.

a pregnancy update

Before I start off on my woe-is-me sadsack tale, let me at least post this little tidbit. Today, I'm 25weeks pregnant and I realized on Friday that I'll only be pregnant for 4 months maximum (well less than now) because it was December 10th and April 10th will be my 2week overdue date. So I can't believe it; I'm almost into the 3rd trimester and now have less than 4 months of pregnancy left. Wow. We also finally got the battery replaced in the scale so I'm glad stepping on the scale at the doc's tomorrow won't be a surprise.

I also found a stray one of Liam's teeny-tiny infant socks that never fit his mega big feet. I hung it up with the other stockings right next to mine from when I was a girl. So now Baby B has a little stocking. Still no name though. The moose decoration is Liam's shoe outline with his handprints attached to make antlers. I covered them with scrapbooking paper to make it pretty. I plan on doing this every year now for both the boys to see how much they've grown.

My stocking is the ballet slipper obviously. I've had it since childhood. I also found my 1st Christmas stocking in the boxes this year. Awww.

Monday, December 6, 2010

long day at work

It's my fault it was a long day. I left on Friday telling myself that I would get into work one day over the weekend to check on my exam and make sure it was congruent with what I taught. Well, of course I didn't do that.

There's was no way I could have done so on Saturday because the power went out all over the county. That also threw my plan of doing skads of laundry out the window too. We ended up going to my Granny's and visiting with her and my mom while we did about 3 loads (my poor widdle guy had no more clean warm jammers left and of course he was filthy when we went down). Best part of the day . . . my son ate a whole chicken soft taco from Taco Bell (picked at it of course) and then he ate chow-mein at dinner! This is the kid who only eats protein! He NEVER EVER EVAH eats noodles (seriously, whose kid won't eat buttered noodles or mac-n-cheese?) but he had his fill of my Granny's dinner. :)

Yesterday we ended up getting a babysitter while Jon and I looked at some real estate available in town. It was a bit of a let down considering there's nothing decent in the price point we're still stuck at. Everything is tiny, 2 bedroom 1 bath less than 1,000 sq. feet kinds of places. Then you add that they all are suffering some kind of major structural malfunction like mold, or non-permit extensions. Ugh. We apologized to the new realtor for wasting her time on us. Then we hit WalMart and got the little things we've been needing. It was nice to go without the boy since it was so crowded, being Sunday afternoon and just weeks before Christmas. Forgot to get a battery for the scale; I still have no idea what my current weight gain is, but I am 24 weeks today :)

So I got up early and went in and got my test all ready. Then I found myself staying until 4:30. Somewhere along the drive home I realized I forgot to eat lunch today and have been surviving the last 5 hours on a diet coke, 100 cal pack of pretzels, and a big handful of almonds. Oops, bad me - not good for either diabetics or pregnant ladies to go that long without eating. Had to bring home work too since I'm trying to get their work graded as quickly as possible (new notebook thing I'm trying) as the quarter ends in 7 school days!!! Ack! So a lot of them turned in their notebooks today and the rest are due tomorrow. Plus the tests have essay questions that need to be graded before I can run the test through the scanner. I posted on my facebook today that if teachers got paid for all the overtime hours and work we take home, then we'd make as much as physicians. Ain't that the truth.

Jon dashed off to pay the rent (oops - it's the 6th) and get us some hamburger at the carniceria. I had to change my very stinky boy's diaper and he gabbed the whole time at me. Let me tell you, this blue kool-aid (berry blast?) has made for interesting diapers in the turquoise spectrum. I fed the cats and came back out to find my boy had done a fabulous job stacking his cars/trucks in a fine balancing act. What's more amazing is that I got him to leave it alone long enough to let me photo it before he tossed them all to the floor in his Godzilla-like glee.
Now I'm super excited because my Hubster is making burgers with onion, garlic, and crumbled bacon mixed IN THE MEAT!!! Should be SOOOO tasty.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

singing foo'

In all the high stress and chaos of the previous week, I completely forgot to mention that my big boy has started singing on his own. Last week, during my holiday, he busted out "Twinkle Twinkle" and can get through the whole first stanza without any help. He can do the whole things if we prompt him. The best part is he'll grab sheet music for the piano and pretend to read it while singing "twinkle Twinkle." Oh so freakin' cute!!!

Liam also sings the "ABC Song" if we help him. Yes, I know it's the same tune as the star song.

This morning I got up when he woke up and, while I was changing his diaper, he started singing "I'm So Sorry" from Yo Gabba Gabba. It was totally unprompted and he was totally in key. "I'm so, I'm so sorry." It's so cute.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

morton salt (when it rains . . .)

Today my day began at 4:15. . .

Liam woke up in a crazy mood and Jon went in to calm him but didn't stay in there long. Consequently, Liam woke up shouting for us. This time Jon was angry so he went in and scolded our son who then screamed for 20 minutes. So at 4:45 I got up with him. After rocking and going out to the living room couch, he finally calmed down enough and I was frankly shocked that he went to sleep again. I actually heard the alarm in my room when I put Liam down, so I just stayed up and made sure to have an extra cup of coffee.

I look like crap. I felt so unattractive today (not that I'm trying to impress the 12 year old boys). My belly really popped last week and it's getting so much colder. But none of my sweaters are long enough to cover my belly. My work maternity shirts are all hotter weather shirts. I felt too casual and frankly I thought I looked worn out and frumpish. If I hadn't been taking my zoloft regularly, I might have dissolved into a puddle of tears when I had to change my pants last minute because I wasn't wearing a belly-panel pair and my naked belly kept peaking out. Alas, there is no money for buying maternity sweaters or blouses or slacks. And Christmas is too far away (in my whirlpool of sorrow). I actually had to wear a dress shirt of Jon's and looked like I was wearing a white tent.

I planned to take my popcorn popper because I had 4 classes who had earned some free time for scoring well on the 100 Facts Quiz. I took the whole she-bang. Popper, oil, salt, mortar & pestle. When I got to school, I realized I forgot the actual popcorn!!! MF! I also rode in the carpool today so I didn't have a car to run to the grocery before school started.

My students are so lucky they didn't try my patience because some heads would have rolled. As it was, they were pretty good today.

I got home and my hubby made some comfort food for me, but Liam (who had not napped all day) chose 10 minutes after I got home to throw his first tantrum of the whole damn day. Bless Jon's heart, he made tollhouse cookies and even made me a half-dozen without chocolate chips.

I took Liam into the shower which was a great chance to try to wash this awful day away. Liam threw a fit getting out.

When I was reading a book to Liam tonight, he was yawning so much we only got through one book (he chose Cinderella and said "pwincess" when I asked him who she was). But rocking wasn't getting him to sleep; Jon came in to ask him if it was time for going to bed. One second he was playing with his blanket, I hugged him closer and got a kiss, he said "nye nye" to me. I tried to get an "Ifuffyou" [i love you] out of him but that next moment he was passed out. Seriously, we were both shocked. Jon put him in the crib, we snuck out, and

. . . that (+ a cookie) made my day better.