baby BooB camp

Well, I am officially a week away from school starting. I am still behind in planning for my 8th grade class, mostly because I am still trying to cling tenaciously to the time off I've enjoyed since Colin was born. In anticipation of my return, I decided it's time to put the kybosh on Coco's boob munching throughout the day. Afterall, I'm not going to be able to take the little guy to work with me. It's time to build up the milk supply in the freezer.

When I returned to work with Liam, I had about 14 packages already in the freezer. But he was 7 weeks old when I returned and wasn't drinking very much in each bottle. Plus, we were still having to supplement with formula after every breast feeding. The kid was hungry and I just wasn't providing enough. Add to it the fact that I could only pump breast milk once a day because my principal scheduled my prep period right next to lunch (BIG MISTAKE) so I had no time to build up for a 2nd pumping during the day. During this time, Liam got very very used to the bottle and became very impatient. Weekends and evenings were torture but I felt like I had to continue breast feeding because I was already cheating him by giving him formula. A week after his 4 month doctor visit, I had one night that he threw a major screaming fit at bedtime because I wanted to nurse him and he wouldn't latch long enough for me to get a let-down. It's a vicious cycle. No latch, no let-down, no milk, baby cries for milk so he gets no latch. Lather-rinse-repeat. That night I told Jon to make a bottle and there would be no more breast for Baby Liam. He agreed because he could see how stressful breast feeding had become for both of us. Liam just screamed until we gave him his bedtime food (this time in bottle form). It only took me less than two days to dry up; I knew I still wasn't producing very much milk so I wasn't surprised. We had enough milk frozen that we just gave Liam 1/2 milk/formula bottles for the next 2 months until that ran out. Then my kid was formula fed all the way (except he was also starting solids at this time ... and then he went cow milk transitioned at 11 months old).

Back to the Coco milk situation. As I'm home most of the time, I don't have a big supply of milk stored up. In fact, I only have three 6oz bag in the freezer and he pretty much drinks 5-6oz at a time now (we've given him bottles so we know this). I've been lucky that my principal fulfilled my request for an afternoon prep period so now I can pump during lunch and prep at school. I'm going back to work every day this week to get my room ready and fill out lesson plans, etc. So I made Colin's baby Boob camp declaration!
"Colin will no longer get boob from the hours of 6:30am-4:30pm! He may eat a bottle when he likes, but I need to pump so he must take a bottle. I will also be pumping only during the times that I would be pumping during school too."
It started off well because I was very full in the morning and he only took one breast at his 5am feeding before noddling back off to sleep. I pumped the other side (my fuller side) and got 7oz! (amazing for me). I then pumped at noon (should have been 11, but my mom had called). I then forgot to pump during what would be my prep period, but I took advantage of the fact that both boys were still napping and got another round done at 3:45p. Well, Colin woke up almost right after I finished, so I just gave him the milk that was collected rather than thawing out another older bag. Wow! He's falling into pattern just great. Not only that, but he didn't want to eat again until 8:30p which was perfect because that's just before his bedtime. Phew! Things are looking like they might be easier already (yeah, we'll check in next week after the stress of going back to work is freakin' you out a bit and drying you up!)

So far, (knock wood) Colin is now older than Liam was when I stopped breast feeding and he looks like he'll make it quite a bite longer. Even if he goes as long after I return to work as Liam did, that'll make him 7 months old as opposed to 4.

Colin is 4 (months)

The little Coco-butter is now 4 months old and becoming a better human every day. I'm getting a little apprehensive because I can't believe it's almost Back to School time and I'll be leaving my little guy and heading back to work in a couple weeks. Here's the latest on Colin Alexander Rogers: Age 4m.

Likes:

• sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed (no we don't co-sleep, but he falls asleep nice and hard after his early morning meal and can sleep a couple hours more if we leave him on the bed)
• his JumperRoo (which he is now a pro at using and gets everyone in the house smiling when he uses it)
• his feet - he hasn't quite gotten them into his mouth yet, but he loves to hold them and usually only talks when he's got his feet in his hands
• LIAM!!! - zOMG his big brother is probably the most awesome thing Colin has ever encountered
• diaper changes - probably the time Daddy and I get the biggest smiles from him is when he's trying to make diaper changing difficult by grabbing feet, diapers, or various articles of clothing
• Lamaze toys - he was obsessing over Mortimer "Bruce" Moose earlier in the month but switched to Jacques Peacock. Then we got him a "knot monster" the other day when we wanted to go to Roseville and he love love loves that.

Development:

• talking/cooing - he's a chatty little guy, but see above note about feet
• rolling over - ummm, still trying hard on that one; Colin gets about halfway over and decided being on his side is better
• no longer needs to be swaddled, but it still calms him down a lot of the time
• can be put down for a nap/sleep without falling asleep in the arms
• has basically outgrown the Puj (his baby tub)
• almost reached out for me in his first moment of "Mommy, you need to come here and pick me up" when he caught eye contact with me after I had been at the grocery store and didn't come get him as soon as I got home. He also cried really loud then.
• sleeping for long long stretches at night and on a good-night schedule that usually has him asleep within 30-45 min of putting Liam to bed each night (8-10hours of straight sleeping baby = bliss for Momma)

Growth/Doctor Stuff:

• Dr. Honeychurch is still not concerned with Colin's poop-schedule. Yup, Colin is still pooping only once every 3-4 days. Because he's not straining and his belly isn't distended and there's no blood in the stool, he's just not a poopy baby. It's just so weird for a mostly breastfed baby to not poop all damn day. Liam pooped at least 3x/day and he was mostly formula fed by this age.
• Jon thinks Colin's hemangioma is getting smaller. I can't see a difference. Doctor said it would actually shrink from the inside (middle) out so I don't think it is shrinking just yet.
• Both Daddy and I were WAY off on our guesses for how big he would be. We had a bit of a cheat in that we weighed him the day we took Liam in to ask about his fever & rash. Colin was 14 1/2 lbs on that day.
• 15 3/4 lbs (55th percentile)
• 27 1/2 inches tall (99th+ percentile)
• 42 1/2 cm head circumference - my babies have such enormous braincases
• Got more shots at the doc's this time. Only, unlike the 2 month visit, he was not so much of a trooper. And boy was he miserably grouchy for the rest of the day.
• Still mostly breastfed; he takes only about one bottle/day anywhere between 4-6oz of formula.
• Had an allergy attack this week. Basically, seasonal/environmental allergies. Luckily his only reaction was red rimmed eyes and lots of congestion (which led us to haul out the dreaded sot snucker)
  

Where we've gone:

• 4th of July celebration at the Stonehouses. Colin did a little better swimming in their pool than he did in Katherine's pool in June.
• Spent a day at Granny's with Granny and Mannam while we were at a food & wine afternoon with friends.
• We went to the doctor for Liam; ergo we went to ice cream at Ben & Jerry's scoop shop
• We went to Roseville to go shopping for a breast pump adapter for the car; ergo we went to Big Spoon for fro-yo.

Happy 4 months my little man. I love you!!!

big bedtime to-do

So today is sort of a milestone day. Colin is 4 months old today. I hope I'll have a post devoted just to him later this evening (if I'm not too lazy). But there's another milestone that I just had to blog about. When I got up this morning (the actual getting up), my whole family was in the bed!!!

So I guess 2 nights ago, around 3-something in the morning, Liam came into our room and quietly climbed into the bed next to Jon. I guess he would have stayed, but he started whinging for Green Ghost and so Jon went in to get it and by that time Liam was amping up with energy. Jon ended up sleeping in Liam's bed for about an hour before he came back to our bed. All during this time, I slept right through it all and had no clue. If I had known, I would not have kicked Jon out of bed to be with Liam when the kid woke up at 5:45a. Sorry!

Well, this morning, around 5:30, just as the dawn was breaking through our windows, Liam stood in the door of his room and whined a bit. I sat up sleepily and said, "hey kiddo." Whimper whimper "momma," whimper. Then I waved him over as my head was dropping stone-like back onto my pillow. The next thing Jon knew, Liam was scrambling over him trying to climb into the bed. He laid down but needed his Green Ghost. Jon grabbed it and wouldn't you know, within seconds Liam was snuggling into the pillow between us. I held his hand so he would know he was safe (he's never slept in our bed before - so um wow!). Boy has some RANK breath! Serious morning breath/stuffy allergy nose stank going on in that kids pie-hole. At one point he sat up and flopped head first toward the foot of the bed, promptly putting his knees in my chin and feet in Jon's face. I just sat up, grabbed him, and re-righted his little bones back onto the pillow.

At 7a, Colin woke up and wanted his breakfast. It's typical for me to take him back into the bed to nurse him in the morning and sometimes I even get to leave him in the bed with Jon because our new mattress has a sleep spell on my infant when his belly's full. Well I wouldn't leave him this morning with the squirmy preschooler in the bed (he's hard enough to wrangle carefully away from Colin when awake). But as Colin was finishing feeding, I realized my sweet, sleepy family was all in the bed in the morning light. It's not so bad when it's summertime and there's nowhere for us to go/be. We even had one of the cats in the bed. So really truly, almost my entire family was in the bed (Lily isn't exactly allowed on the bed as that's Poppy's territory - oh well). It was a sweet and special milestone. I did get up and change Colin's diaper (which he loves btw) and as he and I were leaving the room, I heard a squeak, so high and loud, I would have thought I had stepped on a toy. But it was Colin, looking at his daddy and big brother, making the coolest exclamation of joy I've ever heard. I'm shocked the bigger boys didn't wake up.

:)

quick update

I'm sorry I get so sidetracked by Facebook and never get on here. I should just post all my status updates from the day onto the blog, just so I have a better record of my days, right?

I also thought I'd have more commitment to write in this thing since Liam started preschool 5 weeks ago. Well, nope. I don't. I do chores. I entertain the baby. I watch a lot of television. I nap. Then Liam comes home and he's usually tired enough for a nap himself (a new treat for us after almost a year of simply refusing). Do I blog then? Nope. Sorry.

The most important thing right now . . . we are in the process of house hunting again. I got my dad to consider co-signing a loan for us and yesterday we got the news that we can easily go ahead with the loan now because "your dad has SOLID credit." Well duh! That's why I asked him to help us out. As luck would have it, he just paid off his mortgage last week. Now he'll jump into another. The plan is that we will purchase the loan off of him in about a year when my credit score is improved and then he won't have to deal with "vacation/investment home" issues when he takes out a loan to put a brand spanking new modular on his property (the house he lives in now is pretty much a death trap and I won't take the kids there).

We are going to see the house we're interested in today so Jon can get a second look at it. It's small - <1100 sq. ft. and 4 bedrooms/2baths; the yard is generous and fenced both front and back. It'll double my drive time to work, but I'll figure that out time-wise and maybe we'll be able to afford a commuter car (one of those 40mpg jobbies). It'll put Jon closer to a stronger work market and us a little closer to friends (even though they'll be an hour away, we won't be in "the sticks" anymore). After seeing the place again today, I am looking forward to talking to the lender to see what our monthly payments will be like. If we can keep them low (like $500-$600/month), then we might even look for a little more house. But all in all, the neighborhood is terrific and I took my mom out there last weekend and it felt very comfortable.

Hopefully I'll get some good pics up soon as the boys are growing like weeds; Colin had a great 2 month check up. We went to the fair last night. I got to hold a monarch butterfly :) - that's our state insect by the way.

6/13/11: Okay, I went back and wrote a couple posts and added some pictures to them. Read further down the blog to look!

a bright side

There was a bright side to today's rough edges...

Colin gave me his first intentional smile today. Awwww.

:)

long day - ugh

Didn't sleep well last night and I'll admit it's because I'd had too much wine to drink. When Colin woke up to breastfeed at 1:30, Ii probably would have slept right through it if Jon hadn't gotten him diapered and handed him over to my half conscious body.

Woke up, but could not keep my eyes open this morning even after 2 cups of coffee.

Liam was already getting whiny by noon even though he was a charming cherub when he first woke up. Colin was whimpering or crying every 1/2 hour. I was a little grateful to get to run off to the dentist, but let's face it, I went to the dentist; never will you hear anyone remark "I had the grandest time getting my teeth cleaned! Tra-la!" And just my luck, I had a cavity. Luckily, I'll be able to wait until January to have it filled when my benefits go to 100%.

By the time I got home, the boys (all 3 of them) were falling apart. Jon had had a devil of a time giving the whiny 2 y/o quality time and still meeting the needs of the infant. He handed them both over to me and started playing a game on his phone. Apparently there had been one tantrum that lasted 45 min. until Liam calmed down.

Dinner turned into another 30 minutes of screaming when I admonished him for trying to stick beef fat onto the wheels of a Hotwheels car. We would not even have sent him to his room except that he purposefully dumped his plated on the floor. I let Jon escape to walk the birth announcements to the post office. Liam was basically pretty good for awhile. He even tried to help me sweep and mop the entryway (keeping up with my FLYlady chores - wish I could say the same for Hubster). Then I gave him a bath. But then he devolved again.

He tried to throw a full out, head bashing tantrum in the bathroom. I simply can't allow that as the bathroom is such an easy place to get hurt (although also easy to mop up blood if he really continues to insist on bashing his brains against the ground). I tried a naughty-chair time out for the first time; we've been watching a lot of supernanny while I've been on maternity leave. It only took 5x to reinforce that he would stay on the chair for 2 min. Then he even said he was sorry and told me he loved me. And then he went into an uncontroleable screaming/sobbing fit for 20min. Jon came in, said goodnight and got "goodnight" and "i fuff u daddy." I just got more crying and whining. I couldn't read to him because he was so loud. He refused to rock. I finally got to the verge of tears and just shut the door. He railed on for another 25, but at least he never came out of his room.

Colin was sobbing when I came out. He needed to be fed. I'm so so done now. Liam's sleeping but now Colin is screaming (I apparently didn't have enough milk tonight).

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Colin 1 month

Our little man is now 1 month old! Hooray.

We weighed him on the home scale and he was over 10 lbs (which means he's grown about a pound and a half since his 2 week appointment at the pediatrician). He's just getting out of his NB sized clothes, which meant I had to return an Easter outfit I got him because of the whole mis-calculating when Easter was thing and had to get a 3m/o size.

The breast feeding thing has been totally worked out. I don't think I make much milk, but obviously he's eating well. He gets about 4oz of formula a day, in the evenings when I'm running a little low. I have not had mastitis and only a little trouble with engorgement if he decides to skip a feeding at night (but I'm grateful for the extra uninterrupted sleep when he does skip). He's had tons of trouble with not pooping though. We're lucky if we get 1-2 actual messy poops in a day; most days are just shi-farts. He's currently very constipated and bloated with gas. He's been farting like a little beany-Brussels sprout. His farts stink. He's definitely bloated. (Yes, I love you my smelly guy)
His eyes are definitely getting lighter and bluer every day. He looks more and more like Liam did at that age, every day. We're starting tummy-time now. I make him do about a minute for every week old he is; his neck is already so strong.

The cats are very cool with hanging out with him. Although, I'm sure Poppy is trying to show her dominance and annoy the hell out of me. She sleeps in his crib whether or not he's in it and she insists on being right next to him when I'm nursing at night.

The best . . . we're starting to get smiles and coos. They're still a little random and not really intentional. But I'll take 'em. :)

I miss my shirt

Baby Colin has been suffering from quite a bit of constipation this last week. Granted, he's only 3 weeks old and he's still trying to build his digestive system. Unfortunately this no-poop problem started after we went to visit the pediatrician, so we didn't really have a need on Monday to ask about it. We've kind of thought that the formula might be the culprit, but each time, after about a day, he's managed to poop. And Colin's not really getting that much formula anyway. Only a few ounces in the evening or at night when my milk is running low.

Well, yesterday, my mom came up and to see the boys and we took the opportunity to go major grocery shopping. We were gone about 4 hours and Colin started off with a bottle of formula a little before we left. He was wide-awake for most of the day according to my mom. And it was obvious his wakefulness was caused by tummy trouble. He's so gassy. He hadn't pooped very much at all (maybe a little in the morning). Of course, he'd had formula the whole time we were gone. We did finally get him to sleep.

I decided today that Colin would only be getting the boob for meals today. And to turn back to the title of this post . . . I miss my shirt. He is not eating at regular intervals. He still hasn't had a poop today and it's obvious his belly is so ouchy. He's pretty much only able to nurse for about 10 minutes, then he falls asleep. It's a lot like snacking. He's been on the boob ALL DAY LONG and I pretty much haven't had any time to replenish my supply. If I put him down for a moment, he starts grunting and whining. If I lift him to burp him, he starts rooting. I'll let him fall asleep in my arms just so he can sleep, but boy oh boy, do I miss wearing a shirt. Hopefully today will help us figure out if the problem really if the formula.

Announcing Colin Alexander!

Finally!!! Got a chance to get onto the blog and finally type up the birth story of our newest, precious little boy.

I decided that Thursday, March 24th was pretty much my last day at school. I was so tired. We had just finished a unit on the Renaissance and I had taken them through a week of drawing single-point perspective drawings. My next doctor's appt was on Friday anyway and I wasn't going to be able to take a partial day since my appointment was in the middle of the day. I called my long term sub, told her to plan on coming in on Monday and told the secretary I was going to keep my keys for the weekend so I could come in and get some things taken care of and some housekeeping done. I went home. After dinner and putting Liam to bed, we popped the cork on another bottle of champagne. Awww. Jon discusses with me what kind of induction I'd be willing to have if it comes to that.

Friday, Jon and I both had showers (never go to the Lady Doc without a shower; that's just rude!). We made a list of all the things that should just get packed into the car for our stay in the hospital and for Liam's stay with Nana and Granny. There was a "last minute list" too. I decided to take the Durango down and told him I'd go shopping while I was down there for some odds and ends like cheap magazines and diapers for Yam.

I get to the doc's office and my BP is beautiful 112/79. My weight 208.5 (with clothes on). Doc checks my cervix and says 4cms!!! The heartbeat was a lot stronger than the last visit. She says she wants me to get an induction since we live far away. "How about tomorrow morning? I'm the OB at L&D tomorrow." Wow, okay...ummm...(secretly it would be nice for her to deliver me since she's been my doctor for 2 decades now) but I don't want another pitocin induction. Well, it turns out that L&D had too much scheduled for Saturday morning, but they want me to come in at 8pm that night!!! Okay. I call Jon and my mom to tell them that tonight is the night. Then I did that shopping I was going to do. Liam and Jon arrive around 4pm. We had Chinese food for dinner (just like the night Liam was induced). We wish them good luck with our little Yamster and Jon has me drive to the hospital because he needs to call family and let them know we're on our way.

Checked in at 8. I ask for the midwife side. Got an awesome sassy black momma for my first nurse (with 6 kids of her own). They broke my bag at 9. It took awhile for them to get a good baseline on baby's heartbeat - about an hour. I wasn't having any painful contractions. But then they let me get up and we took a couple laps around the delivery floor and I start having actual contractions; next I sat on the yoga ball for an hour or leaned over it during my contractions. Pain level 3-4. Back in bed for monitoring but baby's shifted so I have to get on my side; this causes the contraction monitor to not pick up anything, but they were a comin'. Within 20 minutes I was spiking pain levels to 7-8 and I could feel those contractions were working on dilating and spreading. Got my epidural at 1am and of course it DIDN'T WORK ON THE RIGHT SIDE just like last time. Ugh. And then they gave me the pit. The nurse anesthetist knew my dad, she used to work with him at Morse Avenue.

After the epidural, they decided to check my progress. "You're at 9cm, and fully stretchy in your cervix, but baby's still at -1 so we're gonna have you labor down. Try to sleep." We turned out the lights, Jon unfolded the reclining bench, and we tried to sleep (of course, they checked me every 30 minutes). Not too much time goes by and then the nurse comes in to check my progress. By the way, the epidural has fully kicked in and I felt like a weeble people from the hips down. "Let's check to see what station you're at." She lifts the blankets and . . . "oh my, we're having a baby."

The midwife slammed her cuppa joe, the nurses barely had enough time to get the table set up and get my legs in the stirrups. I had one spot in my abdomen that I could feel my contractions. I absolutely didn't push at all!!! He came out with the contractions. The midwife kept thanking me for such an easy delivery after the week she'd had even though he did pee on her (I did get a 2nd degree tear because he came out with one hand up at his shoulder). They scrubbed him off and put him on my chest and he crawled right up to the breast! He nursed perfectly for 30 minutes on each side. The nurses did his vaccinations and his heel stick and eye goop while he nursed; he never cried, just winced and went right on nursing. The nurse said she'd never had a baby do the breast crawl or never cry in the 15 years she's been in L&D. Let me just say that compared to Liam's birth, this was so much more of what I wanted, stress free, a little productive pain, medication, easy delivery (I didn't even sweat).

After over an hour, they took him for his vitals and he pooped just before his first bath. Smart guy. Born 1 day early on March 26th 2011 @ 4:29am, weighing in at 7lbs 11oz, stretching 20.5" long, and a head circ. of 14",

here he is . . . Colin Alexander Rogers!!!

Pregnancy update: 28 w

This is probably gonna be more of a life update than a pregnancy update. Depending on who you talk to/what book or website you read, this is the week I got into the third trimester. I don't care if it was last week or this; it has become painfully obvious that I'm now in tri 3.

Yesterday afternoon was so so nice. We got to see our friends from Washington and their new little Baby Boy, my de-facto nephew, Aidric. I've known this couple for years. I went to high school with Kara and met Mark when the three of us started working in the cafe at Borders Books. I went off to college and Jon, Mark, and Kara followed me up to Chico the following semester. Kara only managed one semester before going home; Mark lived with Jon and me for the next 3 years. Mark would have been in my wedding as my "Man of Honor" if the US Navy had let his butt fly back home. Jon and I helped to break off Mark's ill-fated engagement to a true harpy of a woman just 1 week before the wedding and, within months he started dating his old friend Kara. Just a week before my due date with Liam, they called us from S. Carolina (where he was stationed and she was visiting) to say they were getting married that weekend. They've since been stationed in Bremerton, WA (across Puget Sound from Seattle). They called us first before their parents, to make the official announcement that Kara was pregnant. We visited them before our cruise this summer and our official start to trying to get pregnant with Baby B. Kara had Aidric on December 2; because her sister had to push her wedding up early, they made the stressful trip with a 4 week old on a plane in the holiday travel season to fly back home to Rocklin, CA. Hence, we got to see our little nephew and hold a tiny baby (and of course visit with our dear friends one more time before Mark goes on a year's worth of multiple deployments with his carrier).


Kara was kind enough to give me some maternity shirts that are long sleeved and I could possibly wear to work. One is a little too small in the shoulders (I'm broad like a swimmer and long waisted to boot so shirts any time of the year is next to impossible for me to feel comfortable in) but I'll make do. It was amazing holding a little baby again and knowing that I'll be holding my own in just a couple more months.

Kara is also getting pretty good at the mom thing, although I love how they've barely even gotten to hold their little guy while being home and visiting all the grandparents and greats. They were also ecstatic to leave their little guy at home while we all went out for lunch at Boudin Bakery - ahh it was so nice for me and Kara; she's been missing "real" sourdough bread and I've been missing bread in general. We got soup in breadbowls, yum!

Liam was charming and delightful. Us grownups had a wonderful gossipy time and of course the guys had to suffer through all the gorey details of a woman's body postpartum. Mark is also starting to get comfortable with his little boy. He didn't fall into the fatherhood role as easily as Jon did, but you can tell it's growing on him.

Update: So today, I've gained back some of the weight from being so sick on Thursday (and again blech on Sunday). I'm only up .2 lbs from my first appointment. My blood sugar levels have been really good for the last two weeks. I even felt really good during the first week of vacation and I attribute it to keeping my sugars under control. This week was a little weirder since I was trying to just keep food down for a couple days. Baby B is the size of an eggplant now: about 14.5"-15" long and a little over 2 lbs. He kicks the crud outta me at night, right at bedtime when I'm trying to read and get settled. I'm getting a twingy nerve pain in my lower left spine - praying it's not a return of my pregnancy sciatica. The belly itches. The boobs aren't growing much (but the ass is much smaller and my maternity jeans are slip-slip-slipping down to the point of distraction). Heartburn has shown up during bedtime or sleep a couple of nights this week, but it's been controllable with a single Tums (did you know I have to have sugar-free antacids? sheesh!). Still no name yet. My depression has been getting harder to deal with, but that's "a whole 'nuther" post. New development: I haven't worn my wedding rings all week! I had had to have the diamonds upsized for our anniversary last year because I was hovering around 200lbs and my finger was just too fat. Well I'm still right around 200lbs but I've lost so much due to the GD diet that my diamonds just spin around my finger and even my wedding ring is getting too big. Note that I'm wearing them in the pic below, but that's because we were going out in public. I don't even know if I'll be able to do even that much longer.

The Mathesons and the Rogerses with our little boys. Mark, Kara, Aidric (1m), Liam (29m), Jon, "Baby B" (28w in utero) and me!I also love how Aidric and B will be close enough in age to be pals if their parents can ever be in the same location at the same time again. Liam will be old enough to hate his tag-along brothers, but you know they will idolize him as younger siblings should.

Pregnancy update: 25/26 weeks

Yesterday was a loooooong long day. I had trouble sleeping. Then while I was completely awake at 3-something, Liam woke up screaming so I got up with him instead of making Jon do it. He only took 2o minutes to get back to full sleep but I was still totally awake and chose to read. I didn't turn off the light until 4:45 (the alarm goes off at 5:15 ugh). Luckily everything I'm teaching this week is for next quarter when we return in January, so I think "If I screw up teaching about the Norman Invasion of England in 1066, well at least I have time to reteach it." Surprise!!! Get to work at 7:45 and had an IEP (special ed) meeting I'd completely forgotten about.

After school, it's off to the doctor's office. I actually got a coworker to cover 10 minutes of the end of the day so I could leave early. My doc works in Roseville which is about 75 minutes from school if I speed. This time I got to my appt with a few minutes to spare which meant my blood pressure was way down (in November, I sprinted up the two flights of stairs while suffering from a head cold and congestion so I was very winded). No proteins in my pee so pre-eclampsia is still not a worry (not that I was concerned, look at my ankles, they're shapely and Michelangelo would beg to sculpt them in marble). Only 1.5lbs gained from my pre-pregnancy weight. Don't freak out about that now - A) my doctor has never been concerned with my weight gain in either pregnancy because I've never had any major problems (like too much or too fast), B) I started off 20lbs heavier with this one than with Liam and officially in the "overweight BMI category, C) I've been on my diabetic diet the whole pregnancy and have been losing weight all over whilst baby/body/uterus gains.

She chose to increase my anti-depressants a little. (I think they're the cause of my sleep trouble so I'm switching to morning doses). I explained that I understand that they don't work like valium to take my world away on a cloud; they have been taking the immediate edge off of my reaction to things. Unfortunately, I am not seeking out the stressors in my life and I can't avoid the ones that are happening to me - namely things like angry parents or lack of money. But, besides being a union negotiator in the midst of compromising on $250k in stimulus money we got, I'm not choosing stress. Social obligations of the holidays have been especially difficult to (if you read my last whiny post, you understand my feelings). There was no more talk about going on disability, but only because I've only been on the zoloft for 4 weeks. I'll see how things are going when I meet with her/psychologist during break. Speaking of psyche . . . still can't get in to see one; they're so booked (probably the holidays).

Made my doc swear there was only one baby in my belly since I feel huge and ugly and none of my clothes fit. She said, only one - I've had 3 ultrasounds, and I'm measuring about a week behind by fundal height. Baby B's heartbeat was super strong though and very loud. She joked this one might be our athlete.

Got home around 7. Ended up not feeling tired until about almost 11pm. Wha?!!! Didn't I wake up at 3 am?! Wow, who knows why I had that much energy still. Hope to get a belly pic sometime this week.

DnD widow

Today I got a chance to sleep in a little. Woke up about 2 whole minutes before I heard the little guy yelling to be let outta his crib. My fasting blood sugars have been a little high, but I know it's because I haven't been having my snacks in the evening. But I'm getting used to protein shakes for breakfast.

My mom called today to let me know she was going Christmas shopping and check on the size of appliances we'd like for our gifts. There was a small holiday get together going on down the street complete with firetruck and 15 y/o's death metal band. Then my hubster left me for his DnD game. I'm a widow once again.

So Liam had a protein heavy lunch and then went down for his nap. I don't exactly know when since he was doing gymnastics in his crib. I spent the time doing more searching for Christmas and holiday related crafts appropriate for toddlers. I have come to a couple of decisions: I do not care about glue or glitter, but I do feel uncomfortably about paint projects; we also don't have much money for craft projects :( Also, managed to get 4 loads of laundry done to help keep the scourge of pestilence from spreading. Hot water and bleach on the sheets, blankets, pillow cases, and the bath robes. Liam was so happy when I gave him his Green Ghost all clean and fresh smelling (green ghost is his lovie blanket and we do wash it regularly as he still has leakage problems with his diapers during nights and naps).

We went to the grocery store. I got a freezer lasagna for our dinner (of course Liam ate about 3 bites of it - he still doesn't like noodles very much). He got a bath. I read him Guess How Much I Love You and half of Jack and the Beanstalk. He went down easily. I never got around to finishing the line work for my art project for school. Oh well, I'm pretty beat.

Uneventful day and yet I'm exhausted - go figure. Oh well, Baby B is getting a little stronger and moving more. I'm 22 weeks today and have not a thing to wear. Forgot to weigh myself this morning, so I'll check that tomorrow. Wish I didn't have to work this week (even if it is only 2 days). Won't be getting a shower tonight since the hot water's pretty much been used up. Time for my snack. Then into fresh clean bedding for the night. Ahhhhhhh.

4-day weekend (day 4)

Well, tomorrow it's back to the grind. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to it. Taking 4 days in a row with my guys has been wonderful and I am definitely not looking forward to 3 weeks off at Christmas for the very same reason. I already feel like I'm scrambling even though I made the decision to take it slow and steady with the medieval/Renaissance Europe studies. We're a little over 1 week into it and already I feel like I'm running out of time. I think part of it is because of the Thanksgiving holiday coming up in 7 school days. Then after that there's only 3 weeks before the end of the Quarter. The medieval festival is scheduled for the last Thursday in February and I'm already freaking out. I'm terrified of failing. That's a struggle I've always had. I try to be perfect in all things (or at least give the appearance that I'm living a Mary Poppins life "practically perfect in every way"). And I'm terrified that the festival will sink and the parents and people of my district will cluck their tongues and say behind their hands "See, we always knew she couldn't do anything good." I never feel like I'm good enough.

So, I'll be giving a quiz this next week and then I want to spend 3 days doing an art project. That's something I've been trying to add more into my curriculum this year. I don't know if the kids appreciate it. I'm sure they hate that I have to have a lesson plan for it, a reason for why. Anyway, I was hoping to illuminate nursery rhymes and teach them some basic calligraphy. But of course, I can't afford calligraphy pens. Maybe I can go buy some chisel tipped markers and get the school to reimburse me.

I also want to try to come up with some crafts for the boys' room, like maybe some name letters to hang on the wall. I have tons of scrap booking paper. I suppose I should go look at it. Oh, btw, this is the bedding I mentioned yesterday that I totally have fallen in love with. Jon and I don't think it's too girlie especially since we're going to go with a courtly/knightly theme for the boys room. (Another hint, it has stuck in our brains lately that Baby "B" be named for dragons - No, I'm not naming him Gorbash or Breagh or Srumgl.) Only trouble is that it is only available through JCPenney right now. I can't find an eBay or Amazon sale on it for the life of me.

It's May

Today is the first of May and for some reason I'm feeling especially closer connections to my old Wiccan roots. This is of course, May Day or Beltane. It's the ancient celebration of life and creation and fertility. I don't know. I think the connection must come from the fact that I'm now officially "preheating the oven" and we are soon to be trying for another baby. I went to see my doctor yesterday and get my Mirena removed. It hurt way less than getting it inserted. In fact, I really don't think it hurt at all. Jon kept asking me if I was doing alright and I kept saying that I was fine. No cramping or tired feeling or pain. I did get my thyroid levels checked and that hurt more since it required a blood draw. (btw, got my results back and my thyroid hormone is in the normal range but it is on the low side of normal). So my doctor said that we are allowed to start trying after I have one normal cycle. Which means, I can start TTC basically at the beginning of June. YAY!!! I guess I'm feeling May because I'm really thinking about my own fertility. Hrmmm, let's see... I'm really hoping for a May baby so we better get busy by August ;)

baby news/suspicion

Here we are, about to go to the doctor this week and I swear I've got some major baby on the brain. Mostly because I'm thinking everyone is getting pregnant right now. Well, by everyone, I mean 2 people. Friend #1 recently posted a cryptic FBook post about her "insides" and a comment she got from a nurse practitioner and tests. We saw her at a BBQ this weekend and I don't recall a single alcoholic drink in her hand all evening. Hrmmmm. Friend #2 is the wife of one of my college roommates (she was a roommate at one point too). At the aforementioned BBQ, my old roommate called to ask what a good Mother's Day gift would be for his wife. Squeeeeee! So he says she's definitely preggo and I was the first person he told (only fair since he was the first person we told with our DS). They haven't even seen the doc yet, but she'd be 6 weeks or so now. Awww man. How awesome. They're looking at an Xmas baby.

So, yeah. I'm really getting the itch now.

plans for prepping

What are you trying to do to prep your body for pregnancy?

I'm trying to drop a few pounds. I gained about 41 during my last pregnancy and lost about 35 of it, but over the course of the last 20 months I've gotten lazy and complacent. I'm back to about 30 lbs over my pre-preggo weight. I got PG almosti mmediately after getting my BMI under 25% last time. Hoping for that again. I'm getting more exercise. I used to be a dancer. I used to be so flexible and lean. Now I'm stiff and my back hurts all the time (from sitting on my rump). I'm trying to walk at least 25 minutes everyday and I've added in a 5 minute stretching routine before bed or waking in the morning. I think it's time to get back to Wii Fit.

I'm going to talk to my doc about anti-depressants before conception. I'm in a bad way; it's a miasma of functional depression. I've lived with depression almost half of my life and pregnancy was the only time I've ever felt "happy" but I take no joy in most things and am so hard on myself that I need to change things soon.

I'm eating better. Cutting out "white" carbs like refined and processed foods, white flour, sugar, etc. Added in a ton of whole grains, protein, and more veggies/salad/fruit. Let me say that so far (two weeks) it's working and I've lost 7 lbs and am not cravings carbs as much as I was 2 weeks ago. Also not eating after 8:30pm so sometimes I end up missing dessert after I put DS to bed. Oh well.

I'm switching to half-caff coffee and am going to limit my coffee to 2 travel mugs max and gradually wean off (hoping to be down to 1 cup by end of school year in 6 weeks). I realized last week I drink sometimes 6-8 cups and usually 3 travel mugs during work week.

I'm cutting my alcohol intake. I also realized I was drinking 2 drinks a night on a regular basis. Limit to 1 and this should also help my carb cutting too.

Getting DH to the doctor was helpful too. He's our SAHD and I don't think DS has gotten the best of care in the recent few months, but he's avoided the doc like a typical man for the last 5 years. DH also has depression and realized he has high cholesterol now. He's gotten on medication for the depression and I've made the diet change affect him too. Good news, he's lost 5 lbs too.