tight fit

I realize I've been doing a lot of drinking recently. Maybe not enough that you'd call me an alcoholic, but a lot more than normal. It's been rough mentally and emotionally since I lost my job, again. Yeah, I know it was only a preliminary cut, and yeah I know I almost certainly have my job back, and yeah I know I haven't shed too many tears over it . . . but I'm still very very hurt.

So, the tough fit part. I haven't been able to wear my engagement ring since being about 7 months pregnant with my little Goblin. I've missed it a lot and recently got pangs of jealousy when a coworker got engaged and had such a sparkly ring. Well, my Granny (bless her heart) said she'd pay to have it r-esized as an anniversary present and would then pay to have it re-sized again when I do lose the weight.

Well, unfortunately they didn't size it up quite enough. It's big enough that I can wear it again, but it's still tight. Bring on the "tea & sympathy." We all know alcohol does awful things to you and one of them is currently making me retain water so my ring is literally constricting if I wear it to bed. Let's not forget the empty calories in liqour, wine, and beer. This lay off is not doing me any good. Btw, I'm currently polishing off a whiskey sour after having had a whiskey on the rocks this evening. Not pretty, I know (hey you haven't seen all the spelling errors I've had to correct in this typing time.

Part of me wishes I had a place to drink until I was puking or falling down. Maybe then I would get it out of my system (along with a few pent up tears). Yes, I understand that I'm covering up my emotions with booze. I wish I had some alternative outlets or resources. I wish I didn't feel like people were judging me harshly if I lose it and cry or scream about my job situation.

It really doesn't help that this is parent-conferencing weekend. *eye roll*sigh*