Alright, so my little Yam is getting to be a big spud. Liam will be 20 months next Friday, he's almost 3' tall, and quite a remarkable little creature who just lights up my world. I've recently gotten to hold a little baby of 3 months and another infant almost a year old. They feel so wonderful to hold onto (and amazingly light when you compare them to holding my bruiser of a boy). I've been thinking about having our next one. I mean, before I lost my job (for the second year in a row), Hubster and I were pretty much of the mindset that we would start trying again during our vacation this summer. It would be a great time, trying to conceive by August in order to have a baby by the beginning of the next summer break.
But that parenthetical comment is the reason why I'm upset. I am not quite sure enough that I'll have my job back before the end of this school year. The vacation is paid for so there's no going back on it. But the baby...well that topics hasn't been broached yet. I was kind of hoping to talk with my doctor this spring break and have my Mirena removed. But now, man I'm not so sure. This whole, losing my job every year thing, well, that's a shitty thing to be going through and I would hate the idea of knowing I'm losing my job and pregnant at the same time. After all, I stretch to afford my health insurance as it is; I can't even begin to imagine what it'll be like on COBRA.
So here it is. We are getting to the point where I'll need to have my birth control removed soon so we can try to have another baby. Or we can wait another year and see if we're at a better point in our lives (like we had been hoping to buy a house before now). Or we don't have another child at all. I don't know how I feel about that. Seriously. Growing up i didn't want to have kids ever! Now I don't know if my family will be complete without having at least one more. I have baby on the brain and I wish I could find some answers. And no, don't say pray on it because we're not religious types (and if we were I'd be praying on finding a better life-path that doesn't put my family in jeopardy every year).
1 comment:
Oh, I totally feel you on thinking about another baby. I'm at the point where I don't particularly want to do the infant thing all over again, but I can't imagine not having another toddler and I don't want my kids to be too far apart in age. I just wish Cody felt the same way!
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