Well, today is the first day of Spring, although you wouldn't know it in California as most of the state is being poured upon and has crazy torrential winds tearing down trees from over-saturated soils.
I kind of thought I'd be in L&D today having a baby. Yesterday was the supposed "super moon" with the moon being closest to the Earth for the first time in something like 40 years. Too bad we couldn't see it through the storm clouds :( But I was also considering the effect that the moon has on the tides and women's cycles. I figured, being this close, it might be reasonable to think that the tidal pull would get Baby B going. Hey, I was born during a complete lunar eclipse myself.
Had an hour's worth of painful contractions about 10-12 minutes apart on Friday night. Also had a bad bought of loose stool so I thought that maybe my body was evacuating to get ready for labor. Nothing after about 3:20a, but Liam did sleep in until 8:30 so it was heavenly to sleep in. Ahhhh.
Nothing yesterday at all in the way of labor pains, not even tightening abdomen. But I did nothing, absolutely nothing yesterday. Well, I did two loads of baby/toddler laundry to get some of the gear washed and ready (including both carseat covers).
Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 39 weeks
Name: Last week we finally got a Top 5 list: Adam, Alexander, Colin, Dorian, and Sebastian (the only name from Liam's top 6 list). We are pretty sure we have a name too, but we'll wait until delivery to decide totally.
Size of baby: A watermelon!
Total Weight Gain/Loss: At the doc's office the scale said 211! Lies I tell you; that was with clothes and shoes on and a full bladder. At home today, scale said 205.4 which is 5 1/2 lbs up.
Maternity Clothes: I've been short on pants recently because I keep peeing and sometimes don't have a pantiliner on. Some of my mid belly and under belly pants are too darn uncomfortable because they cut right across my bladder.
Gender: Didn't catch it on the u/s last Tuesday, but i'm pretty sure he's still a boy.
Movement: still a fast kick-count mover. Punches me in the colon a lot. Known he's head down since my appointment on March 2nd.
Sleep: the charlie-horse in my calf has gone away. I've been getting more calcium and that helped. Still so HOT! I sweat almost every night. I get up about once a night now to pee.
What I miss: Bending over, standing to teach without my back hurting, and gorging on bread and other carbs.
Cravings: sweets still, but I've recommitted to really watching my sugars these last couple of weeks. Last night I had a cravings for green bean casserole so Jon made me some. It was delish.
Symptoms: incontinence when coughing or sneezing, having to pee every time I stand up, the leaky boobs had stopped until last night when they started up again, sciatica comes back every once in awhile.
Best Moment this week: having my grades done before they were due on Friday afternoon; getting the last of the gear washed so I feel ready for Baby B to come home (although we still need a place to change poopy diapers. AND . . . going out to celebrate 4 years of marriage with my hubster, without the toddler, and coming home to a clean house thanks to an awesome coworker who babysat that night. ROCK!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
OMG could I have been stuck any longer?
... at the hospital?
Today was a quiet day in the classroom while I rearranged some of the work and art projects that desperately needed to go back to the kiddos after the medieval feast (I was even sending back a map of the Roman Empire - Ch. 1; I'm not the best at getting piles of work back).
I left about 20 minutes before release time so that I would make it to my prenatal appointment on time. It usually takes 70 minutes but I was allowing for some traffic due to the rain. Well, my trip down I-5 was fine, but the minute I got on to I-80, I saw nothing but tail lights all the way to Roseville. I knew by 4pm that I would not make it by 4:30 so I called the office to let them know. Got there at 4:50. Holy cow. The receptionist was rather biz-natchy about my being late. I did have one of the latest appointments and I was 20 minutes late. "Oh I don't know if they'll see you. We may have to reschedule." I told her that I had called ahead to let them know and that I would wait until they called me in. "Well, I don't know..." was her response.
Of course my doctor saw me. She's been my Ob/Gyn since I was *cough*cough* years old (yeah we're almost going on 2 full decades now). BP was much better this time. 121/79. Time for an internal!!! Basically, I'm 2.5cm dilated and 90% effaced. Baby's head was right down close where she could feel it, but his butt is still up in my ribcage so I think he's all backbone. Gonna be long; but doc is NOT concerned about size being too big with the GD. Then the heart monitor...very faint, very slow. She actually took my pulse while we were listening.
"I want you to head over to L&D for fetal monitoring right now. I'll let them know you're coming." Okay, well that answered the question I had about if I'd need an NST soon.
This was 5:20. Walk passed the pharmacy and there is NO WAY I'm picking up Jon's Rx before going to triage. Walk in, the nurses are obviously busy, there's a gal sitting in the chair, a doctor sitting a command console that reminded me of Star Trek (obviously checking on fetal monitors). I guess when it rains (literally), it pours because they had been bored and quiet for the last 2 days there until about 4:30 today. Me and the other gal had been sent over from the clinic. 2 others were already in triage for labor. They put me in a room and hooked me to the fetal monitor by 5:40. I didn't get the actual "admit" until 6. Then the OB on call swings by at 6:10 and says it'll be about an hour. An HOUR!!!
Had some mild contractions (no pain, just tightening). Baby's heart rate dropped a couple of times down to 112 and 116, but if I shifted to my side, he'd perk back up. No drop of heart rate during contractions. Another gal got admitted because I could see her monitor. Finally, when no one had come in by 7:25, I called the nurse and asked to go to the restroom. I had a splitting headache from lack of food (we eat lunch at school at 10:54) and squinting at the odd angle of the television. Got to go pee. Then the OB came back in and said he wanted to check the fluid levels. Their portable u/s was really powerful. I definitely saw umbilical cord and a very well formed baby hand all bunched up. Fluid levels are fine! He said I might consider a scheduled induction since this is Baby #2, my cervix is ripe, and we live/work over an hour away. Ugh, I do NOT want another pitocin induction :(
Then he leaves and leaves the door open. Another gal gets admitted in the room next door because I could hear the nurses kick her family out of the room. I heard a nurse running down the hall. Then a tour comes through and the gal says "let's peak into room #6 for a moment" and I can hear footfalls in the doorway of my room (#5). Finally I call the nurse again and was going to ask if I could get my pants back on and go; she came in with my discharge papers all ready for me to sign. Time to go home 7:55. Stopped by the pharmacy and got Jon's meds.
At my car, I finally had the chance to call my dad and let him know why I didn't get to his house earlier (I was supposed to stop by for a visit at 6:30), but said I'd still stop by with the cookies I made for his birthday. Got a burger at Jack in the Box and checked my blood sugars before I ate. 70!!! No wonder I had a headache. Visited with dad for only about 30 minutes then went home. Got home just a few minutes ago. I'm exhausted.
Today was a quiet day in the classroom while I rearranged some of the work and art projects that desperately needed to go back to the kiddos after the medieval feast (I was even sending back a map of the Roman Empire - Ch. 1; I'm not the best at getting piles of work back).
I left about 20 minutes before release time so that I would make it to my prenatal appointment on time. It usually takes 70 minutes but I was allowing for some traffic due to the rain. Well, my trip down I-5 was fine, but the minute I got on to I-80, I saw nothing but tail lights all the way to Roseville. I knew by 4pm that I would not make it by 4:30 so I called the office to let them know. Got there at 4:50. Holy cow. The receptionist was rather biz-natchy about my being late. I did have one of the latest appointments and I was 20 minutes late. "Oh I don't know if they'll see you. We may have to reschedule." I told her that I had called ahead to let them know and that I would wait until they called me in. "Well, I don't know..." was her response.
Of course my doctor saw me. She's been my Ob/Gyn since I was *cough*cough* years old (yeah we're almost going on 2 full decades now). BP was much better this time. 121/79. Time for an internal!!! Basically, I'm 2.5cm dilated and 90% effaced. Baby's head was right down close where she could feel it, but his butt is still up in my ribcage so I think he's all backbone. Gonna be long; but doc is NOT concerned about size being too big with the GD. Then the heart monitor...very faint, very slow. She actually took my pulse while we were listening.
"I want you to head over to L&D for fetal monitoring right now. I'll let them know you're coming." Okay, well that answered the question I had about if I'd need an NST soon.
This was 5:20. Walk passed the pharmacy and there is NO WAY I'm picking up Jon's Rx before going to triage. Walk in, the nurses are obviously busy, there's a gal sitting in the chair, a doctor sitting a command console that reminded me of Star Trek (obviously checking on fetal monitors). I guess when it rains (literally), it pours because they had been bored and quiet for the last 2 days there until about 4:30 today. Me and the other gal had been sent over from the clinic. 2 others were already in triage for labor. They put me in a room and hooked me to the fetal monitor by 5:40. I didn't get the actual "admit" until 6. Then the OB on call swings by at 6:10 and says it'll be about an hour. An HOUR!!!
Had some mild contractions (no pain, just tightening). Baby's heart rate dropped a couple of times down to 112 and 116, but if I shifted to my side, he'd perk back up. No drop of heart rate during contractions. Another gal got admitted because I could see her monitor. Finally, when no one had come in by 7:25, I called the nurse and asked to go to the restroom. I had a splitting headache from lack of food (we eat lunch at school at 10:54) and squinting at the odd angle of the television. Got to go pee. Then the OB came back in and said he wanted to check the fluid levels. Their portable u/s was really powerful. I definitely saw umbilical cord and a very well formed baby hand all bunched up. Fluid levels are fine! He said I might consider a scheduled induction since this is Baby #2, my cervix is ripe, and we live/work over an hour away. Ugh, I do NOT want another pitocin induction :(
Then he leaves and leaves the door open. Another gal gets admitted in the room next door because I could hear the nurses kick her family out of the room. I heard a nurse running down the hall. Then a tour comes through and the gal says "let's peak into room #6 for a moment" and I can hear footfalls in the doorway of my room (#5). Finally I call the nurse again and was going to ask if I could get my pants back on and go; she came in with my discharge papers all ready for me to sign. Time to go home 7:55. Stopped by the pharmacy and got Jon's meds.
At my car, I finally had the chance to call my dad and let him know why I didn't get to his house earlier (I was supposed to stop by for a visit at 6:30), but said I'd still stop by with the cookies I made for his birthday. Got a burger at Jack in the Box and checked my blood sugars before I ate. 70!!! No wonder I had a headache. Visited with dad for only about 30 minutes then went home. Got home just a few minutes ago. I'm exhausted.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
bit of a scare at work
Yesterday at work I had a bit of a scare. One of those could I be going in to labor? scares. I really wish I knew what labor felt like or what I can expect in terms of a total length of labor, but since my dear son decided to be pretty neglectful in his duties as a fetus to get born (leaving me to be induced and chemically enhanced through my 12 hours of labor), I guess I will never know until it happens (or doesn't) with this one.
I spent the majority of the day sitting while teaching (as I feel I'm entitled to do now that I'm 2 1/2 weeks from my due date and still coming in to work) about the "isms of the Rennaisance." At the end of 5th period, we always have a break and I got up to fill my water bottle and head to the restroom. I didn't get up to fast, nor was I standing lock-kneed; suddenly pin-points of light were floating across my eyes. They were like the floaters one gets and can spend hours following around when bored only they were shiny and kind of like fireworks too. My coworker's first thoughts are that my BP is too high, but guess what . . . the school nurse was not in and we do not have a BP cuff on our site.
So I checked my glucose levels (112) and made sure to sit as much as possible. I had about 24 oz more of water before the end of the day. Kick-counts were strong and Baby B was still really high in my abdomen and rolling a lot - so it doesn't feel like he's ready for labor yet (although I was also getting a lot of stretching and aching in my cervical area . . . hmmm dialation imminent?). The lights lasted about 40 minutes total. Went to my Wednesday staff meeting. Found out the nurse was coming for a mtg. with the 6th grade teachers at 3:30. I am refusing to go to labor & delivery because it's 75 minutes from where I work and I didn't want to sit for an hour in triage only to be told "go home, you're fine!"
When Nurse Kathy got here, she had a BP cuff in her car!!! What luck. She took my BP and it was, again like last week's appointment, high for me, but the diastolic was still under 100 so not out of the normal range (130/80). She told me to check with my optometrist too. Hmmm?
Then called Kaiser and talked to 4 people in 20 minutes, recounting my story 3 of those times. The last human on the phone was a nurse from L&D where I plan to deliver. Since I was not experiencing any other concerning symptoms like edema, pains in the right side, severe headaches, or signs of stroke, she told me not to be too worried unless I get more symptoms in the next couple of days. In fact, she told me I was a perfect paitent because I did all the right things (and she totally understood about not driving in and just waiting for our school nurse). She told me just to wait and come in for my next pre-natal on the 15th. So, that was pretty good news.
Last night I had no problems except my sciatica was acting up again (probably from napping on the couch during Yo Gabba Gabba). Liam was a doll and went to bed easily. Hubster made brownies. I ate jelly beans. Yeah, I know, a lot of sugars before bed but I feel like I am finally allowed to give into some cravings - sheesh. This morning I had those lights show up again in the shower, but only for a couple seconds right after I blew my nose. So I'm thinking it might be a BP issue still. Another coworker suggested I might be getting a detached retina (as happened to her boyfriend). So I think I will call the optometrist and see if I can squeeze in soon. Yeah, so that was the scare. But, like I said, I'm a perfect patient ;)
I spent the majority of the day sitting while teaching (as I feel I'm entitled to do now that I'm 2 1/2 weeks from my due date and still coming in to work) about the "isms of the Rennaisance." At the end of 5th period, we always have a break and I got up to fill my water bottle and head to the restroom. I didn't get up to fast, nor was I standing lock-kneed; suddenly pin-points of light were floating across my eyes. They were like the floaters one gets and can spend hours following around when bored only they were shiny and kind of like fireworks too. My coworker's first thoughts are that my BP is too high, but guess what . . . the school nurse was not in and we do not have a BP cuff on our site.
So I checked my glucose levels (112) and made sure to sit as much as possible. I had about 24 oz more of water before the end of the day. Kick-counts were strong and Baby B was still really high in my abdomen and rolling a lot - so it doesn't feel like he's ready for labor yet (although I was also getting a lot of stretching and aching in my cervical area . . . hmmm dialation imminent?). The lights lasted about 40 minutes total. Went to my Wednesday staff meeting. Found out the nurse was coming for a mtg. with the 6th grade teachers at 3:30. I am refusing to go to labor & delivery because it's 75 minutes from where I work and I didn't want to sit for an hour in triage only to be told "go home, you're fine!"
When Nurse Kathy got here, she had a BP cuff in her car!!! What luck. She took my BP and it was, again like last week's appointment, high for me, but the diastolic was still under 100 so not out of the normal range (130/80). She told me to check with my optometrist too. Hmmm?
Then called Kaiser and talked to 4 people in 20 minutes, recounting my story 3 of those times. The last human on the phone was a nurse from L&D where I plan to deliver. Since I was not experiencing any other concerning symptoms like edema, pains in the right side, severe headaches, or signs of stroke, she told me not to be too worried unless I get more symptoms in the next couple of days. In fact, she told me I was a perfect paitent because I did all the right things (and she totally understood about not driving in and just waiting for our school nurse). She told me just to wait and come in for my next pre-natal on the 15th. So, that was pretty good news.
Last night I had no problems except my sciatica was acting up again (probably from napping on the couch during Yo Gabba Gabba). Liam was a doll and went to bed easily. Hubster made brownies. I ate jelly beans. Yeah, I know, a lot of sugars before bed but I feel like I am finally allowed to give into some cravings - sheesh. This morning I had those lights show up again in the shower, but only for a couple seconds right after I blew my nose. So I'm thinking it might be a BP issue still. Another coworker suggested I might be getting a detached retina (as happened to her boyfriend). So I think I will call the optometrist and see if I can squeeze in soon. Yeah, so that was the scare. But, like I said, I'm a perfect patient ;)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
cravings
Ok, so I finally feel like I should give into some of my cravings. I won't say I've been a perfect angel on this gestational diabetes diet or anything. I've snuck quite a few candies into my mouth over the last 9 months (especially at candy-corn season). But I don't normally say gee I have a craving for something I shouldn't eat Honey go get it for me. Well tonight I had to have jelly beans. And Jon was perfectly willing to go out and get some for me after dinner (which was good, he made spaghetti and his sauce is improving each time he makes it - but it's still not as good as mine). Well, I happened to post about it on Facebook in my status update.
About 20 minutes later there's a knock at our back door. A coworker who lives 2 blocks from us had literally run to our house to bring me jelly beans!!! My husband says "Chaz, you're a better husband than I." Then I look at the giant bag of beans and say, "He sure is. He brough me belly flops!!!" (For those of you not in the know, belly flops are rejected Jelly Belly jelly beans and we live very close to the Jelly Belly factory - in Fairfield, CA. They sell the flops at the factory only and you can buy 2 lb. bags for about $5.) Yeah, because my husband would have brought back whatever sad excuse for jelly beans he could find at our little podunk grocery or the Rite-Aid; instead Chaz brought me Jelly Belly beans!!!
Awesome opossum. What a fun group of friends. Next time, I need to say I'm craving wiskey or bourbon (since Chaz is a connoisseur of fire water) and maybe he'll run over with that too.
About 20 minutes later there's a knock at our back door. A coworker who lives 2 blocks from us had literally run to our house to bring me jelly beans!!! My husband says "Chaz, you're a better husband than I." Then I look at the giant bag of beans and say, "He sure is. He brough me belly flops!!!" (For those of you not in the know, belly flops are rejected Jelly Belly jelly beans and we live very close to the Jelly Belly factory - in Fairfield, CA. They sell the flops at the factory only and you can buy 2 lb. bags for about $5.) Yeah, because my husband would have brought back whatever sad excuse for jelly beans he could find at our little podunk grocery or the Rite-Aid; instead Chaz brought me Jelly Belly beans!!!
Awesome opossum. What a fun group of friends. Next time, I need to say I'm craving wiskey or bourbon (since Chaz is a connoisseur of fire water) and maybe he'll run over with that too.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
last monthly prenatal
Yesterday I went to the doc's office for my last monthly scheduled appointment. After this, I go in another 2 weeks and then 10 days after that.
Weight (doc official): up 6.5lbs woah!
BP: 138/79 - a little high for me on the diastolic, but my systolic was still nice and low. If it was over 100, then I'd be in the hospital delivering this baby or at least on bedrest today.
Had to do a Group B Strep test - yuck!
Guess my fundal height was fine because the NP didn't say anything about it. Heartbeat was nice and strong. I got her to confirm that the lump in my upper-right abdomen is definitely butt, so B's in the appropriate head down position. Of course he's still a little lopsided. Another good idea: mirena IUD is now approved to be inserted immediately after delivering the placenta so I can start birth control right away. woo-hoo.
After the appointment, I went to Mimi's Cafefor dinner and since it was senior citizen early, I got really focused service. That was nice. Then I went to Babies-R-Us to check on the size of the cones I need for my breast pump. Wouldn't you know, they didn't have MY size (but they had plenty of XL 30mm shields...I need 21mm). Oh well. I got a 3-pack of swaddling blankets because we do like our baby burritos around here and 2 pairs of jeans on clearance for $2 each (1 for Liam and 1 for B). Then, on my way to my dad's house, I stopped by Ross since I realized I want to wear some stuff other than the hospital gear while recovering. So I went in to get some big-bottom panties and a robe/nighty combo that should keep me pretty and stylish and I won't care if they get bloody and I throw them away.
Holy cow! That reminds me that I don't have any bags packed yet. Eek!
Weight (doc official): up 6.5lbs woah!
BP: 138/79 - a little high for me on the diastolic, but my systolic was still nice and low. If it was over 100, then I'd be in the hospital delivering this baby or at least on bedrest today.
Had to do a Group B Strep test - yuck!
Guess my fundal height was fine because the NP didn't say anything about it. Heartbeat was nice and strong. I got her to confirm that the lump in my upper-right abdomen is definitely butt, so B's in the appropriate head down position. Of course he's still a little lopsided. Another good idea: mirena IUD is now approved to be inserted immediately after delivering the placenta so I can start birth control right away. woo-hoo.
After the appointment, I went to Mimi's Cafefor dinner and since it was senior citizen early, I got really focused service. That was nice. Then I went to Babies-R-Us to check on the size of the cones I need for my breast pump. Wouldn't you know, they didn't have MY size (but they had plenty of XL 30mm shields...I need 21mm). Oh well. I got a 3-pack of swaddling blankets because we do like our baby burritos around here and 2 pairs of jeans on clearance for $2 each (1 for Liam and 1 for B). Then, on my way to my dad's house, I stopped by Ross since I realized I want to wear some stuff other than the hospital gear while recovering. So I went in to get some big-bottom panties and a robe/nighty combo that should keep me pretty and stylish and I won't care if they get bloody and I throw them away.
Holy cow! That reminds me that I don't have any bags packed yet. Eek!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
for the baby minded
I've decided to steal this format from Lindsey in Texas. She's 10 weeks behind me in our second pregnancies and she uses this set-up every week; it's just so easy to read and catch up on everything. She never seems to forget pieces. Yeah Lindsey, you know you're good. She's been posting photos every week too folks, while you'll be lucky if you see another of me before Baby B is born because I'm lazy like that (as proof, I'd photograph my eyebrows for you, but that would mean getting out the camera).
Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 35 weeks
Name: still none. Although I did solicit many suggestion last weekend from Facebook. The WORST submission which I got from many many idiots (I apologize if you were one of those aforementioned idiots) was William. Ummm, Liam & William. Should I name my next Bill or my girl Wilhelmina?
Size of baby: A honeydew melon (I like how much more specific this is than "squash" because I know how big a honeydew is. Squash was so vague.)
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 1.5 lbs. At this rate I'll be back to my ultimate goal weight when I walk outta the hospital ;)
Maternity Clothes: Well, this week I have to figure out how to make a t-tunic for my medieval feast that will accommodate a big 9 month preggo belly. That should be interesting especially as I've only got 3 more nights to do the fam's garb for this feast. Last week in union negotiations, my coworker and also the superintendent said I looked like I had dropped!!! Aww hell no! Too soon! Turns out it was just my maternity sweater givign an optical illusion. Is that the super's way of saying she wants me gone sooner?
Gender: Well, "B" still better be a boy since I haven't seen a pick of him since November (and also because I got his chromosomes tested at 10 weeks and genetically he was Xy).
Movement: he feels pretty lateral recently. Definitely a big lump in the right-rib cage side that's been traveling toward my waist. Hope that doesn't mean he's trying to go breach. Kick counts are almost always 10-12 minutes. Last week in the car, it took 30 minutes for 10 counts and then he seemed to kick me 30x in 10 minutes. Go figure. Also, I can definitely say my placenta must be on the left anterior side (near the stomach) because I almost never feel any movement in that area (anterior placentas dampen the feel of the kicks). Hey, he's also been kicking me in the intestines too - woohoooo!
Sleep: Getting up to pee every once in awhile, but still not regularly. Have been really really HOT - darn estrogen. And I've been getting a nasty charlie horse in my calf frequently at night, painful enough to wake me and cause me to try to stretch. Friday night is was SO BAD that I woke up yelling "ouch ouch ouch" and throwing the covers off to grab at my leg. Then I felt bad because I was sure Jon would freak out and think I was in labor (bugger never had that thought cross his mind).
What I miss: Eating fruit until I can't and then eating more. Also I miss my emotional calm.
Cravings: Sweets, especially candy and ice cream. I've given in a few more times recently than I should have. Like the giant cookie I had with my lunch. My sugars were 168. Oops. Oh, and I've been craving tortillas too.
Symptoms: My boob was leaking a little last week which prompted having to go buy breast shields. The charlie horse in my leg makes me freak out and think I have a deep vein thrombosis and will throw a clot and stroke out and die during delivery (doc emailed and said "warm bath and stretch before bed," Dad, RN, said "possibly dehydrated or calcium deficient.") And the bladder control has been failing again because I've got allergies making me pee every time I cough.
Best Moment this week: sadly, I didn't have any preggo moments that I'd qualify as "best"
Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 35 weeks
Name: still none. Although I did solicit many suggestion last weekend from Facebook. The WORST submission which I got from many many idiots (I apologize if you were one of those aforementioned idiots) was William. Ummm, Liam & William. Should I name my next Bill or my girl Wilhelmina?
Size of baby: A honeydew melon (I like how much more specific this is than "squash" because I know how big a honeydew is. Squash was so vague.)
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 1.5 lbs. At this rate I'll be back to my ultimate goal weight when I walk outta the hospital ;)
Maternity Clothes: Well, this week I have to figure out how to make a t-tunic for my medieval feast that will accommodate a big 9 month preggo belly. That should be interesting especially as I've only got 3 more nights to do the fam's garb for this feast. Last week in union negotiations, my coworker and also the superintendent said I looked like I had dropped!!! Aww hell no! Too soon! Turns out it was just my maternity sweater givign an optical illusion. Is that the super's way of saying she wants me gone sooner?
Gender: Well, "B" still better be a boy since I haven't seen a pick of him since November (and also because I got his chromosomes tested at 10 weeks and genetically he was Xy).
Movement: he feels pretty lateral recently. Definitely a big lump in the right-rib cage side that's been traveling toward my waist. Hope that doesn't mean he's trying to go breach. Kick counts are almost always 10-12 minutes. Last week in the car, it took 30 minutes for 10 counts and then he seemed to kick me 30x in 10 minutes. Go figure. Also, I can definitely say my placenta must be on the left anterior side (near the stomach) because I almost never feel any movement in that area (anterior placentas dampen the feel of the kicks). Hey, he's also been kicking me in the intestines too - woohoooo!
Sleep: Getting up to pee every once in awhile, but still not regularly. Have been really really HOT - darn estrogen. And I've been getting a nasty charlie horse in my calf frequently at night, painful enough to wake me and cause me to try to stretch. Friday night is was SO BAD that I woke up yelling "ouch ouch ouch" and throwing the covers off to grab at my leg. Then I felt bad because I was sure Jon would freak out and think I was in labor (bugger never had that thought cross his mind).
What I miss: Eating fruit until I can't and then eating more. Also I miss my emotional calm.
Cravings: Sweets, especially candy and ice cream. I've given in a few more times recently than I should have. Like the giant cookie I had with my lunch. My sugars were 168. Oops. Oh, and I've been craving tortillas too.
Symptoms: My boob was leaking a little last week which prompted having to go buy breast shields. The charlie horse in my leg makes me freak out and think I have a deep vein thrombosis and will throw a clot and stroke out and die during delivery (doc emailed and said "warm bath and stretch before bed," Dad, RN, said "possibly dehydrated or calcium deficient.") And the bladder control has been failing again because I've got allergies making me pee every time I cough.
Best Moment this week: sadly, I didn't have any preggo moments that I'd qualify as "best"
Monday, February 21, 2011
blogging what the heart wants
Don't blame the exhaustion from pregnancy or trying to put on my medieval faire at school. I haven't been blogging a lot because . . . well frankly, Jon and I are going through a really rough patch right now and I find it best not to write down my frustrations. "Why?" you ask. "Don't you think writing it down could be therapeutic or something?" The fact of that matter is I'm not totally sure who reads my blog. I mean, I know my followers that are listed, but he might be popping in once in awhile or there might be members of his family checking in for pregnancy updates. Not that I would be saying anything super defamatory or outrageous about my husband. But you understand how things can be taken out of context.
I've tried getting myself and us some counseling, but things didn't stick for long. I am truly tired when I come home at night. I just don't feel good about life in general right now. And all these bad feelings I've only been able to share with a couple of people (most recently my dad). The biggest thing is . . . I'm waiting for a moment to talk with him about my feelings. Really TALK with him. But it's definitely impossible when I am so angry inside because all he does is play stupid games on his cell phone all day.
Well, I should stop right now because I'm starting to get upset and frustrated again. And honestly, this has been a terrible day with a toddler who's done nothing but scream and yell and throw and cry and try to kick and destroy since 3:30pm and as soon as he managed to get some dinner into him, he amped right back up again. I will admit to spending about 20 minutes lying in my bed under the covers while my child screamed and ranted unattended (because Jon had gone to get frozen vegetables for dinner that he forgot earlier today).
I am being really honest and serious right now . . . I truly don't know if I can have another baby added into this mess and come out of it alive/strong. I foresee my near future being pretty close to catastrophe. I don't think I can do this!!! And I'm also not sure I want to either.
I've tried getting myself and us some counseling, but things didn't stick for long. I am truly tired when I come home at night. I just don't feel good about life in general right now. And all these bad feelings I've only been able to share with a couple of people (most recently my dad). The biggest thing is . . . I'm waiting for a moment to talk with him about my feelings. Really TALK with him. But it's definitely impossible when I am so angry inside because all he does is play stupid games on his cell phone all day.
Well, I should stop right now because I'm starting to get upset and frustrated again. And honestly, this has been a terrible day with a toddler who's done nothing but scream and yell and throw and cry and try to kick and destroy since 3:30pm and as soon as he managed to get some dinner into him, he amped right back up again. I will admit to spending about 20 minutes lying in my bed under the covers while my child screamed and ranted unattended (because Jon had gone to get frozen vegetables for dinner that he forgot earlier today).
I am being really honest and serious right now . . . I truly don't know if I can have another baby added into this mess and come out of it alive/strong. I foresee my near future being pretty close to catastrophe. I don't think I can do this!!! And I'm also not sure I want to either.
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